White's Return
by LivNel4ever
Summary: I'm scared, she said barely above a whisper. She looked over at Elliot who was lying on the cot next to hers. She quickly looked away when she felt a tear slide down her face.
1. Chapter 1

a/n: I know what you're thinking, who do i think i am starting another story? Am i right? Well my muse has been working triple time these days! Maybe cause i just moved, and got inspired to write new things... I have another story in the works as well, ALLY coming soon! But enough about me, how are you?

Olivia awoke, but was still too tired to open her eyes. Events of the past few days spread through her mind like a wildfire, and she couldn't shake them. If she opened her eyes it would send her back to reality, if she kept them closed just a little bit longer, maybe, just maybe, it was only a nightmare.

Turns out it didn't matter, even with her eyes closed the events of the past week still managed to creep into her head.

_"White escaped, he was at Benson's apartment…he left his seminal fluid on her bed," she overheard Munch tell Don._

…

_"She's not to leave the precinct, he's more fascinated on her now then he ever was. 24 hour protection until I tell you otherwise. That means you three are not to leave the precinct either." Cragen said to Elliot, Munch, and Fin. "Lake and I will cover all the field work." _

_"He got into her apartment again, stole photos, clothes, jewelry, anything that Olivia might have personal attachment too. We gotta get this guy; he's not going to stop until--"_

…

_"I'm scared," she said barely above a whisper. She looked over at Elliot who was lying on the cot next to hers. She quickly looked away when she felt a tear slide down her face.  
_

_"I won't let him hurt you, Olivia." He said and outstretched his hand to her, "Liv," he said motioning her to take his hand, "I'll protect you."_

That was the last thing she remembered before sleep took over. She opened her eyes now, wondering if Elliot's hand was still outstretched.

"El?" She looked around the room but did not see him, "Elliot?" She called out again in panic. The panic turned to fear when she heard a small groan, followed by her name, "Liv,"

She flew off her cot so fast and ran towards the sound of Elliot's voice, "Liv…" She heard him groan again.

_White's got him!__No, not Elliot! He was supposed to get me! Please God not Elliot._

That was all she could think as she booked it towards the bathroom, visions of Elliot's bloody body haunted her with every step she took. Before she knew it, she was in the bathroom and was tearing open the shower curtain---

"OH MY GOD!" She screamed and her hand went directly over her mouth. She quickly backed away and walked out of the bathroom. _Oh. My. God! Was that--? Was he? Did I see that correctly? No way…no fucking way!_ She thought and her cheeks became flush, and she couldn't help but let out a giggle.

EOEOEOEO

When Elliot woke up the first thing he noticed was Olivia's hand still intertwined with his, the second thing he noticed was that he was fucking harder than he had ever been in his life. He knew he had better do something about it before Olivia woke up. Conflicted by the fact that he wasn't allowed to leave her alone, (not even to go to the can…Cragen's orders) and the fact that she would think he was the biggest pervert on the planet if she saw him with a raging huge boner. He chose to take an extremely fast and cold shower.

However when he got in there, and his throbbing member was showing no signs of going down, he decided it would be faster just to tug at it until the problem was solved. Unfortunately for him once he started yanking at it, pictures of Olivia flooded through his mind, and he couldn't stop them. The more he thought about it the harder he got and the more intense his orgasm began. He was so enthralled by what he was doing he didn't realize that he had started moaning out loud. That is until he heard her scream, and then saw her face…

EOEOEOEO

When Elliot finally came out of the bathroom he had no idea what was going to happen. He felt like the biggest douche bag imaginable. She was going to kill him; no she was going to destroy him. She was going to request a new partner.

That thought killed him. He couldn't lose her as his partner, she was so much more then that, and now with White on the loose, there was no one else he trusted to protect her. God what did he do!?

He hung his head low and walked out towards the locker, he squeezed his eyes shut with embarrassment when he saw her sitting there, by his locker. She had waited for him.

Elliot walked over slowly and sat down next to her, having no idea, absolutely NO idea what to say in a situation like this. He was glad when she began to talk first.

"Listen Elliot, your partnership, and friendship means more to me than anything other thing in this world, and I will be damned if I lose you as both of those things. That being said, I'm going to tell you the only thing that I think might make this situation better and not as…um…uncomfortable for you." She looked over at him to see if he was listening. His head was still down and she knew that she had to tell him, to save their partnership.

"When I was in Oregon, I woke up in the Hospital after having a nasty concussion--"

"What!? Olivia what happened!? Why didn't I know about this? Were you hurt? Are you ok?" Elliot barked his concern for Olivia made him momentarily forget about the current situation.

"I'm fine, Elliot, and we are not changing the subject." she said and watched as Elliot's ashamed eyes fell to the floor again, "When I woke up, this girl Hope asked me who Elliot was." She looked over at Elliot, she wasn't sure if she should continue or not, but when she knew that she had too, "Apparently while I was unconscious I kept…um…moaning your name…in a dreamy like fashion," she said rolling her eyes at her self, "My cheeks immediately blushed, when I remembered what I had just been dreaming about…and Hope couldn't stop repeating your name, 'Ellliot, Ellliot…'" She said impersonating Hope. Olivia placed her hands on her knees and pushed her body up and walked out of the door leaving Elliot there, baffled.

_Did she just admit too...? Did I hear that right? No, that can't be right…no fucking way!_

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOE

Munch, Fin, and Olivia were scattered about in the interrogation room when Elliot arrived shortly after Olivia. He couldn't look at her, not just yet, but he did sit down across the table from her.

"Alright, since you guys are back we're going to take a couple hours." Munch said and he and Fin walked out.

"Still don't think anything is going on with them?" Munch asked Fin as they headed to their desks and piled their files on in.

Fin opened his mouth to respond but he spotted Kathy walking in the squad room and decided now would not be the best time to discuss the topic of Elliot and Olivia.

"Hey Munch, hey Fin," Kathy greeted as she got closer.

"Hey Kath," They both said in unison.

"Any idea where I can find my husband?" She asked as she held up a plate of cookies.

"Ah…yeah in interrogation one." Fin said and started to head up the stairs and Munch followed.

"Didn't she mean, EX-husband?" Munch said as they walked up the stairs to the cribs.

EOEOEOEO

Kathy headed towards interrogation one, she hadn't seen Elliot in a few days, and she figured since he can't go home, she mind as well come here. She walked through the door and was about to head into the other door to where Olivia and Elliot were, however curiosity got the best of her, and she set the plate of cookies on the table and stared through the double pane window.

Something about the way her husband was looking at Olivia did not sit well with her, not at all; but something else was not sitting well with her either and that was the way Olivia was looking back at her husband. She saw the little white intercom button on the side of the glass and pondered whether or not she should push it. Temptation giving in and her hormones being completely out of whack thanks to the baby, she decided to go ahead and push it.

But there was silence, they weren't even talking, they were just staring at each other. She saw Elliot smile at Olivia and she cringed, "You're not going to be all awkward around me now are you?" Olivia asked him with a smile on her face.

"Completely awkward," Elliot winked with a smirk. Kathy nearly busted in right there but she decided to wait, "But in all seriousness…I don't um…think about you---"

Olivia placed up her hand urging him to stop, "No, no no….no talking about it…I don't want to hear about who you…I ah…yeah, let's just not talk about it, ok?"

Just then Elliot's cell went off, "Stabler…uh huh…fucking A! That sick son of a bitch! Where the hell were the uniforms? That mother fucker! Yeah…yeah…she's fine, she's with me…don't worry," he said into the phone but he looked directly into Olivia's eyes, "I won't let her out of my sight." He clicked his phone shut and got up and sat next to her. He took her hand and placed it in his, but Olivia quickly pulled it back, tears already formed in her eyes, she knew that what Elliot was about to tell her was not going to be good.

"Just tell me, Elliot," She whispered.

"Simon is missing…they found blood in his vehicle."

Olivia's eyes widened and a few tears fell down, "No..," she said under her breath and wiped the tears that fell.

"He's going after everybody you care about…"

Olivia's eyes went so wide they almost popped out of her head, before she even put two and two together she felt Elliot's arms wrap around her in a bear hug. She was starting to hyperventilate and Elliot could feel her heart pound 170 beats per minute. He rubbed his hands around her back in order to try and sooth her.

"It's ok, Liv. We'll find him." Elliot whispered as he continued to rub circles on her back, "We'll find Simon and White."

The only thing she could think was that Elliot would be next, but did Elliot know that? White sure did, he had her journal for Gods sake, he knew every deepest and darkest secret about her. She gripped Elliot tighter than she had ever hugged anyone in her entire life.


	2. Chapter 2

a/n: Wow, i didn't think that i would have an update so soon, but this chapter completely wrote itself! let's hope the rest of the chapters do that!!!

Chapter 2

Kathy didn't know what to do. She felt horrible for Liv and that little voice inside of her thought _'maybe, just maybe, you're over reacting'_. She turned out of the room and headed out of the station house. Now was definitely not the time to accuse her husband of having an affair, especially when she didn't even have any solid proof.

EOEOEOEO

"We have to go out there, we have to find Simon." Olivia said as she ran her hands through her hair and paced back and forth the length of the room.

"No way, Liv. You are not going anywhere." Elliot said in a stern and serious voice as he stood up from his chair.

"You expect me to just sit around here and do nothing? That's just what he wants, Elliot!"

Elliot pulled Olivia's arm and turned her to look at him. He had his game face on, "There is no way I am letting you out of here! That sick fuck is after you, and…" He ran his through his short hair, "and you're _not_ leaving the station house, Cragen's orders, end of story."

"What happened to you? You used to jump right on board with me, and since when did we _ever_ follow Captain's orders?" She questioned.

Elliot shook his head, _that was Olivia for you, _he thought. He sat back down in the chair, "Olivia, I'm sorry but no. You're not leaving."

Olivia sat down next to him, "You could use me as bait, Elliot--"

"No, no way." Elliot said shaking his head, "Absolutely not. What do you have a death wish? This isn't some local pervert, Liv! This is White! He's fixated on you, Olivia! He has had nothing to do for the past 8 years except to plan his revenge against you!"

"Exactly, and he's not going to stop going after the people that I love, until he has me!" Olivia shouted, "Don't you get it? I don't want anyone to get hurt or killed over me!"

Elliot looked over at her and took a deep breath, "I don't want him to hurt or kill you." He said softly.

There was a brief silence that got interrupted by Elliot's cell, "Stabler," he answered, his stare still held with Olivia's.

"It's Lake. We got Lucy and her son safe. Still nothing on, Simon. Tell Olivia we're not giving up."

"Alright, bye." Elliot said and clicked his phone shut and turned towards Olivia, "No word on Simon yet," He placed his hand over hers, "They're going to find him, Liv."

EOEOEOEOEO

"So what did Kathy want?" Munch asked Elliot as he made a pot of coffee.

"What?" Elliot asked, clueless.

"Kathy. What did she want?" He repeated.

Elliot stared at Munch with an even more confused look on his face, "What? When?"

"Earlier today!" Munch said getting annoyed, "She came in when Fin and I went to the cribs. She had a plate of cookies for you, they looked delicious."

"I didn't see Kathy today…" Elliot said as his voice began to get nervous, "You don't think that…" He pulled out his cell phone as horrific images of White having Kathy soared through his mind, "Kathy! Where are you? Are you ok?...uh huh…oh…Uh Did you stop by the precinct today? You did. Why did you leave? …oh…okay well you could have at least said 'hello'." Elliot said irritated, "Uh…huh..." He looked over at Olivia and walked away from her. He didn't want her to hear what he was about to say.

When Elliot came back into the room he looked over at Munch, "Kathleen broke up her with her boyfriend, and called Kathy hysterical, so she took off." He said to Munch.

"You want to put a uni on them don't you?" Munch said as he poured a cup of coffee.

"Just did. I also told her to go to her mothers." Elliot said as he poured some sugar into his mug.

Munch put his hand on Elliot's shoulder, "I'm sorry, man."

Elliot just brushed the comment off, "No big deal, I'm sure they're fine. It's Liv, I'm really worried about," Elliot said as he stared at Olivia who was going through a stack of files.

EOEOEOEO

Kathy hung up the phone with Elliot, her reaction was calm, "Mo, go tell your brother and sisters to pack their stuff. We're going to stay with Grandma for awhile."

"What? You're leaving Dad, again!?" She pouted.

"Just go Maureen." She grunted.

"You can't keep doing this to him mom!" She argued.

Kathy huffed, and stared off into space, the conversation that she overheard with Elliot and Olivia going through her mind, "You can't leave someone who never came back." She said in a soft voice.

Maureen closed her eyes tight and took a deep breath, "I'm sorry, Mom." She said and pulled her mother into a hug.

"It's okay, honey. We tried, I thought things would change, you know? But work will always come first, _she_ will always come first," She said that last part barley above a whisper.

"What?" Maureen asked not completely hearing what her mother said.

"Nothing, just go pack, ok?" She said and kissed her daughter on the forehead.

EOEOEO

Olivia ran her hands through her greasy hair, she closed her eyes and wish this mess would just be over soon, "I'm going to take a shower," she said tilting her head to the side and rubbing her neck, "maybe a bath," she pondered out loud, "whatever," she said standing up from the table.

She heard Elliot's footsteps behind her on the stairs and she turned around, "What are you doing, Elliot?" she asked.

"Not out of my sight." He answered.

"Uh…Elliot? I'm going to take a bath, you have got to be kidding me!" She said annoyed, "What are you trying to get revenge for this morning?" She asked, not really weighing the weight of her words.

Elliot's face immediately blushed but he didn't stop following her, "I have to make sure the bathroom is clear, and don't worry, I'm not going to jump in the tub with you, I'll wait outside."

"I am still a cop aren't I? I know how to secure a room, Elliot." She said as she pulled some things out of her locker.

"Just humor me, please." Elliot said.

EOEOEOEO

"Ah…Elliot, you still out there?" Olivia called out from the tub.

"Still here, Liv." Elliot called back.

"I uh…sort of forgot my towel…" She said nervously.

Elliot looked around the cribs, sure enough he saw two big fluffy towels sitting on the bench by her locker, "Got em," He called out to her, "What…uh…should I do with them?"

He heard Olivia groan, "Uh, just come in here…I'm covered in bubbles…" She said and she bit her bottom lip nervously.

_Covered in bubbles, soaking wet…Why are you trying to torture me?_ He thought as he closed his eyes tight and opened the door slowly. He was going to put them on the sink and get the hell out of there; however, the Woman's bathroom was set up just a little bit different than the Men's. Not being able to see the chair that crossed his pathway as his eyes were shut tight, he walked right into it, sending himself soaring through the air, as if slow motion, the towels landed up in the tub with Olivia, and Elliot's head smashed into the corner of the sink.

Blood instantly rushed out of the gash on Elliot's forehead, "Fuck," he moaned as he put his hand up to his head, but still did not open his eyes.

"Elliot! Jesus!" She screamed, and he heard lots of water splashing around, and he could only imagine Olivia getting out of the tub, naked, and soaking wet, to go over to attend to him.

Olivia quickly stood up, draped the soaking wet towels around her body and stepped out of the tub, "OH just open your eyes, before you hurt something else!" she yelled at him. He was trying to sit up, but kept knocking into everything.

Elliot took a deep breath and did as he was told. He opened them slowly, and took a deep breath. Olivia was hovered over him, the soaking wet towels were now dripping all over his dry clothes, and Olivia was applying pressure to the wound on his head; However to do that she had to be very close to him…too close. All Elliot could see was Olivia's neck and the top of her chest, that was popping out of the dripping wet towel, _'I'm going to hell'_ he thought as he was unable to look away at Olivia's fanfuckingtastic body.

"Does it hurt?" She asked.

"Huh?" He asked in a daze, "Oh, uh, nah. I'm good." He got out, kicking himself for sounding like an idiot.

"Well, I think you got lucky, no stitches needed." She said with a smile on her face, "I think we have some butterfly bandages in the first aid kit, that should do the trick." She said getting up off the floor, and walking out of the bathroom, leaving Elliot there to bow his head in shame.

"Way to go, Stabler." He said to himself. He pulled himself off of the floor and walked out of the bathroom…bad mistake! Olivia was changing into her clothes and Elliot got quite the show.

"ELLIOT!" She screamed, angry as hell at him.

"I'm sorry! Oh my God! I'm so sorry!" He said turning around, his cheeks becoming beat red again. He cursed himself for being such an idiot, he looked up at the ceiling, "What did I do to you!?" He asked God.

"You're really batting a thousand today, Elliot." He heard Olivia say. He would have agreed, or said something; but his mind was still in the gutter picturing her naked.

"Alright, come on, let's go get you cleaned up." She said when she was fully dressed.

EOEOEOEOEO

"Is it me, or can you cut the sexual tension in here with a knife?" Munch whispered to Fin, and they both snickered.

"What?" Olivia and Elliot both asked at the same time.

"It's nothing…" Munch said.

Elliot and Olivia looked at each other, and Olivia rolled her eyes, "Well then stop snickering over there." Olivia scolded.

"Well, maybe it's not nothing…" Munch said with a smirk on his face, "You guys never told us exactly_ how_ Elliot fell…and why his clothes were soaking wet…"

Olivia and Elliot just stared at each other, "Get your mind out of the gutter, Munch." Olivia said, and Elliot gave Munch a smile and a thumbs up, behind Olivia's back.

Both Munch and Fin laughed, and Olivia quickly turned her head to look at Elliot, "What?" He said shrugging his shoulder.

She narrowed her eyes on him, "You better watch it, Stabler, you're on thin ice." She warned, but let out a small smile.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"You guys should hit the crib." Munch said looking over at Olivia passed out on her desk, and Elliot dozing off as he stared at Olivia.

Olivia lifted her head off of her desk and looked over at Elliot who was staring at her, "What?" She asked.

"Nothing," He said with a smile. A piece of her hair was sticking straight up, but no matter how ridiculous it looked, he couldn't help but think she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, "We should hit the cribs." He said standing up.

"Any word on, Simon?" She asked her eyes becoming wide open in hopes of some good news.

"Sorry, Liv. Nothing yet." He said sympathetically.

"Wake me if you here anything?" She asked.

"Definitely."

The dynamic duo slumped up the stairs as if they were sleepwalking. Olivia walked over towards her locker to change into her pajamas, however the thought of actually going to the bathroom, stripping down her work clothes, and putting on something else, seemed like too much work, way too much work. She shrugged, shoved her pajama's back in the locker and walked towards the cots.

She rolled around a bit on the cot trying to make herself comfortable, "I don't know how much longer I handle sleeping on these cots," She complained as Elliot walked by and took the cot next to hers.

"Come on, it's not that bad." Elliot said turning to face her.

"Not that bad?" She questioned, "Elliot this thing is smaller than a two by four! I almost fell off of it the other day! Not to mention these mattresses are 100 years old, and as thin as this sheet! And this bar! Don't even get me started on the metal bar that keeps poking into my back!" She said her face none too pleased, as she thrashed around trying to make herself comfortable. After a moment or two she looked over at Elliot, "I'm sorry I'm being whiney." She apologized.

"You have every right to be, Liv."

"I know you miss_ your_ bed, _your_ family, _your_freedom, and I'm sorry that I'm keeping you from that."

"Olivia, there is no place I would rather be, than right here, protecting you." He said.

"Thank you, Elliot. I don't believe you, but thank you." She said curling up into a ball, "I don't think I can get comfortable."

It was then that Elliot got an idea. He hopped off his cot and started taking the mattresses off the cots and laying them on the floor. He placed four mattress cots in a square and then placed the last four on top of those making it doubled layered. Olivia just watched him amazement, "There you go, me lady." Elliot said lying down showing off his creation.

Olivia smiled at him, but didn't move.

"Well come on, Liv, your king size bed awaits!" He said with a smile as he grabbed some sheets, and some pillows. He looked over at Olivia who looked like she was about to cry, "Huh? Did I do something wrong?" He asked unsure of what he did.

"No, no…you're great, you didn't do anything wrong, except be the best partner a gal could ask for." She said climbing out of her cot and onto the stack of mattresses. She placed her hand on Elliot's cheek and kissed him on the other side, "Thank you, Elliot."

"Well then why all the tears?" Elliot asked, wiping a drop that escaped down her cheek.

"I'm just an emotional mess these days." She said wiping a few more drops that had also escaped down her cheek, those bastards.

Elliot put his arm around her, "I know this can't be easy for you, but I'm here for you every step of the way."

"I know, and thank you, Elliot. You really mean a lot to me. I hope you know that." She said as she shifted and lay down.

"You mean a lot to me too, Liv." he said getting up from the pile of mattresses to return to the cot.

"No, El. Stay here," She said patting the spot next to her. He looked at her with a questioning look, "Elliot, its fine. Come on, besides I would feel horrible making you sleep on that _thing_," She said pointing to the cot, "After you made this, surprisingly enough, quite comfortable contraption."

"Are you sure?" Elliot asked to make sure that this was in fact alright.

"Positive." She said with a sleepy smile.

Elliot climbed in; his body hovered over the edge of the mattresses so that if he moved .0001 of an inch to the left he would fall off.

Olivia turned to him, but he was facing the opposite way, "Elliot?" She questioned so that he would turn and face her.

"Yeah, Liv?" He answered.

"Nothing," she said chickening out, she rolled over and took a deep breath and closed her eyes, falling asleep within minutes.

Elliot on the other hand, wished he was so lucky. Olivia's body was so close to his, he couldn't concentrate on anything except that. If he reached out his hand he would be able to touch her, that thought alone kept his eyes from closing, and therefore his body from doing anything that he might not be aware of if he was sleeping…like dreaming.

EOEOEOEO

When Elliot awoke the next morning he felt a pair of arms wrapped around him. The skin was so smooth, so soft and silky; however as unfamiliar as it was, it was also some how…familiar… _does that even make sense?_ He wondered. There was a piece of hair trailing across his chest, and he could smell…this amazing smell that made his mouth water. He opened his eyes and looked around. He was still on the far edge of the mattress, which means that SHE, not him, but SHE was the one to move over and wrap her arms around him. That thought alone sent his body into shock waves.

He covered her arm with his, smiled, and closed his eyes. Only to feel Olivia's arms jerk frantically away from him, "Whoa! I'm sorry, Elliot." Olivia said as she immediately woke up, "This is probably borderline inappropriate," She moving away from him, "I'm sorry, I must be a sleep cuddlier or something," She joked nervously.

"No, it's ok." He said a little bit too quickly.

"We probably should get up, huh? And pray that Munch or Fin, or anybody for that matter came in and saw us." She said quickly getting up and heading towards the woman's room.

Elliot rolled over wondering if that just happened; and when he felt his dick harder than steal he figured, that yes, that did just happen. He quickly got up and headed for the showers…a cold shower this time and nothing more.

EOEOEOEO

Elliot came out of the showers to find Olivia sitting on the bench, "Hey," He said casually.

"Hey," She said with a small smile, "I just wanted to say thank you, last night was the best night of sleep I have had in a long time, so thanks." She said standing up, her cheeks rosy, "and…uh…I'm sorry about the uh…inappropriateness."

"What? No, it was fine, Liv, really." He said as he tried sound as calm and cool as he could, "And besides, I mean if anyone is to blame for the inappropriateness, I think that would be me," he quipped with a smile.

"Well, we better get down there." Olivia said and she and Elliot walked down to the bull pen.

EOEOEOEOEO

"Good morning, guys, or should I say, good afternoon." Munch said looking at his watch.

Olivia and Elliot both looked at the clock, "Oh my God, it's really 12:30?" Olivia asked shocked.

"Yup, you guys sure must have been tired." Fin said looking over at Munch trying to hide his smile.

"Tired? Is that what they are calling it these days?" Munch asked with a grin on his face.

Olivia and Elliot just looked at each other, "Shut up, Munch." They said in unison.

Munch walked over to Elliot and whispered into his ear, "Olivia was looking pretty comfortable up there." And walked away. Elliot couldn't help the smile that appeared on his face.

Olivia booted up her computer, and Elliot did the same. She looked over at him and smiled, "So much for them not seeing us."

Elliot let out a soft laugh, "Yeah."

"Again, I'm sorry, Elliot."

"Don't be sorry, it was uh…nice." He said giving her a smirk.

"Yeah?" She asked nervously.

"Yeah."

EOEOEOEO

8 hours later no leads had come in and Olivia was getting frustrated, "I'm going to head to the roof, clear my head." She said getting up from her desk, as she told Munch and Fin. Elliot was in the bathroom and she decided that if she wanted some alone time now would be her chance.

"Uh, wait for Elliot." Munch said.

"I'll be fine, Munch." She said not waiting and headed towards the stairway.

"Where's Liv?" Elliot asked when he came back.

"Roof." Munch answered.

"What? By herself?"

"I tried to tell her--" Munch began but Elliot was already gone.

When he reached the top of the roof he saw Olivia standing there. Her silhouette shinning through the moons glow, and Elliot swore he had never seen something so beautiful, "Getting sick of me?" He asked as he approached her.

Olivia turned around and smiled, "Never. Just looking at all the people down there, living life, being free…"

Elliot smiled, "Soon Liv, soon." It was then that he noticed the red eyes, and tear stained cheeks on his partner, "Awe, Liv." He said and with out thinking pulled her into a hug.

He wondered when things began to change with them. They didn't hug, they didn't sleep together, and by God they definitely didn't think about each other while doing…'things'. Ok well maybe he did, but she sure as hell wasn't supposed to know about it and be ok about it!!

"Thank you, El. You have been such a great friend to me these past few days. I don't know what I would have done with out you." She said into his ear, sending shivers down his spine.

He gripped his arms around her tighter, "Well, I don't know what I would have done these past 9 years with out you." He said, and she giggled softly. They stayed hugging for a minute or two in silence, allowing the night air to sweep over them and clear their heads.

She took a deep breath, "What's happening to us, El? I mean--_this_" she used her hand to motion between the two of them, "We don't do this." She said as she looked him in the eye.

Elliot's eyes searched hers, "I don't know, Liv; but I like it. I like holding you, I like being there for you, like this." He said squeezing her gently; but before they could say anymore the heavy metal door came swinging open.

Their heads turned and their bodies jumped apart when they saw Fin standing there, "You guys probably want to come down. Cragen and Lake are back," He said unable to look in Olivia's direction, "They got some news."

"Tell me! Is it Simon?" Olivia asked her voice shaky, and terrified.

"Olivia---" Fin said in a patronizing way.

"I'm a big girl, Fin. Just tell me."

Fin looked at Elliot for reassurance, but got nothing, "I'm Sorry, Livia." He said bowing his head, "There was nothing they could do. They just got there too late."

"NOOOO!" Olivia shouted and walked over to Fin.

"I'm so sorry---"

"NO!" She shouted again and pushed Fin into the brick wall behind him, "Take it back!" She shouted as her face became covered in tears, her fits now pounding into Fin's chest.

"Liv, Stop!" Elliot shouted and ran over to her and grabbed her forced her into a hug, "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry Liv." He said as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"Just leave me alone, please just leave me alone." She cried pulling away from Elliot's arms and falling to the ground. She wrapped her arms around her knees and rocked back and forth, "Just leave me alone." She said again.

Elliot nodded for Fin to leave, which he did; but Elliot wasn't going to leave, not now, and maybe not ever. He slowly walked over to her, sat on the dirty ground and wrapped his arm around her. Elliot thought she was going to push him away, or tell him to get the hell away from her; however when he felt her body fall into his, he knew that things were really changing between them. She was letting him comfort her, and that was something he knew she didn't let _anybody_ do.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Sorry this chapter took longer then expected to post via my muse was preoccupied after Paternity! OMG what an amazing episode! Can we say EMMY for Marish or what??? Oh and that HUG! My GOD that HUG! It is all i can think about! I have some great ideas that i am working with, so hopefully soon i will have a post ep fic about it!

Thank God for DVR, as i have been rewinding that hug like it was my job! Thanks to Jamie for letting me babble and analyze the hell out of the thing!

Chapter 4

Elliot paced back and forth; he didn't know what to do with himself. Olivia had been in the Women's room for over and hour now. He contemplated going in, but after remembering the week's events he decided against it. He wasn't going to embarrass himself any more; so he just knocked on the door, "Liv? You okay in there?" He called out.

Inside Olivia was curled up in a ball. She had taken a shower but when she got out all she could do was cry. She wrapped an oversize towel around her and fell to the floor. Why did White have to take the only true person that loved her? Her only family! And when was he going to stop? He knew all about Olivia's feelings for Elliot via her journals, was he going to go after Elliot as well? She couldn't take it, she rocked back and forth.

Elliot knocked harder, "Liv?"

"Just go away, Elliot!" She half yelled half sobbed.

Elliot hung his head, and slowly opened the door, "You know I can't do that, Olivia." He said softly as he made his way over to her. The scene before him broke his heart. Even though she was clad in only her towel he didn't let that stop him from going over and comforting her.

"Please just leave me alone, Elliot." She pleaded.

Elliot ignored her and took a seat next to her on the floor. He draped his arm around her and she leaned into his shoulder and cried.

Time stood still as they both sat there on the floor. Olivia cried on Elliot's shoulder until she fell asleep from pure exhaustion. Elliot swept the hair out of her eyes and placed a kiss on her forehead. He swiftly picked her up in his arms and carried out to the cribs. She stirred a little bit as they walked, but didn't wake up, just clung to him.

He placed her on the cot making sure she was completely covered, as she was still in only her towel. Without even realizing it he placed a kiss on her forehead and ran his hands through her damp hair.

He went back to the Women's room, collected her clothes and placed them in her locker. He then sat down on the cot next to her and watched her sleep.

EOEOEOEO

"…and no one knows about it?" Cragen said on the phone as he passed by Munch and Fin.

_"My father built it last year with his bare hands as a retirement gift for my mother. So no, only he and my uncles know about it."_

"And we wouldn't be disrupting them?"

_"They're not planning on moving there for another couple of years, so no."_

"I don't know what to say." Cragen said as he took a seat in his chair.

_"Well that's the first." _

Cragen laughed, "Thank you Casey. I'll have to clear it first, but I think this could work and keep Olivia safe."

_"That's all that matters. I'm late for court, so I'm going to let you go. Call me and let me know when you get everything figured out." Casey said._

"Will do, and Case?"

_"Yeah, Cap?"_

"Thanks again." He said and hung up.

EOEOEOEO

When Olivia woke up it took her a minute or so to remember where she was. She looked under the sheets to find her self wrapped in a towel. Her face immediately blushed when she realized that Elliot probably had carried her like that.

She looked over to her right and saw him sleeping soundly. She couldn't help but stare at him and his beautiful face. How did she ever get so lucky to have a partner like him? She was lost in thought when she heard the door open and Cragen walk in.

"Hey." He said softly.

She smiled shyly and wrapped herself protectively in the blankets, making sure she wasn't exposed, "Hey."

"How are you feeling?"

Olivia ran her hands through her hair, "I don't know." She said honestly.

Cragen looked at her for a minute, she looked tired and scared. It broke his heart, and all he wanted to do was keep her close to him, but he knew that he couldn't. While Elliot and Olivia were sleeping a box of dead roses spray painted black came for Olivia. There was a card that said, **"Come out, come out where ever you are."**

"You're not safe here anymore, Olivia." He said as he put his head down.

Olivia shook her head not understanding, "What do you mean?"

Cragen sighed, "It means that in a couple of hours you will be relocating."

"Witness Protection?" She asked stunned.

"Sort of…you're just going to hang out and lay low until we get him."

"Where?"

"Arizona; but it will only be for a little while. We're going to get him, Liv."

Olivia sat back and exhaled, she looked over at Elliot and frowned, she was going to miss him.

"He's going too." Cragen said knowing what she was thinking.

"Huh?"

"Elliot is going too."

"No, no that is not a good idea." Olivia protested.

"You still need protection, Olivia."

"Not him. He has a baby on the way! And a family who will miss him, and... And---I can't do that to him, I _won't_do that to him." She said not taking her eyes off his sleeping form.

"He's going to insist that he goes." Cragen warned.

"Yeah he is, which is why you will have to hurry up and make arrangements for someone else to accompany me before he finds out."

"You know him all to well." Cragen said with a smile, "Alright, come down when you're ready."

"Will do."

EOEOEOEO

When Olivia was fully dressed she crept back into the crib to see if Elliot was still sleeping.

"Hey." He said softly, scaring the hell out of her.

"Jesus!" She yelped and jumped 20 feet.

Elliot was quick to his feet, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He said as he placed his arms around her.

"It's ok." She said pulling back, "Uh…look Elliot, I wanted to say thank you for everything you have done for me. You mean the world to me, and--"

Elliot held up a finger to her lips, "Why are you talking as if you are leaving me?"

She didn't say anything, but her eyes…they said everything.

"You're leaving." He said.

"In a couple of hours."

"I'm coming with you." He said firmly.

"No, Elliot, you're not."

"Yes I am."

"Elliot," She said softly taking his hand and leading him on the cots so they could both sit, "You have a family, Elliot. They need you, not me. I'll be fine."

"You'll be alone." He said cupping her jaw.

"I'm always alone." She whispered not even realizing what she had said.

"I'm not leaving you." He protested.

"What about your baby, Elliot? You're going to miss the birth of your child so you can baby-sit me? I don' think so. I couldn't live with myself if you did."

"We're going to find him before then. I'm not leaving you." he said as he began to think about it more. The mere thought of not seeing her everyday broke his heart in two.

"Cragen already set it up. I'm sorry Elliot but this is goodbye."

"No, I'm coming."

Olivia shrugged and rolled her eyes, "I'm sorry, Elliot." She said letting go of his hand and walking away and down the stairs.

Elliot was right on top of her heels though, "I'm going with her." He told Don when he reached his office.

"Yes." Don said.

"What?!" Olivia yelled, "That is not what we discussed! He can't come!"

Don looked at Olivia and then Elliot, "This just arrived for you." He said handing an envelope to Elliot. He opened it up and pulled out a photo. He and Olivia both starred at the picture. It was one that Olivia had framed in her apartment. It was from last summer. Taken in the park during a softball game. Olivia and Elliot were smiling at the camera, their cheeks touching and pearly whites showing. White had ripped Olivia out of the photo, and only Elliot remained smiling. "Flip it over," Don instructed, '**ONE DOWN, ONE TO GO'**, White had written on the back.

He had also enclosed a page of Olivia's journal; Elliot took it out and began reading before he even realized what it was: _He could live with out me for a million days and never fall apart. I don't see him for one day and my heart breaks into a million pieces. Cragen told me we were too close, but it's not WE, it is I. I am too close; he could give a rat's ass, and that is probably the most pathetic thing of it all._

Once Olivia recognized the paper from her journal she snatched it out of Elliot's hands, and read it. "That mother fucker!" Olivia screamed, "It's me he wants! Why can't we just use me as bait? This has gone far enough. I can't put the people I love in jeopardy anymore!"

"Olivia, calm down." Cragen ordered, "This isn't your fault. You're not doing this. Do you understand that?" She just shrugged, "Think of this as a vacation, a well deserved vacation." Cragen said trying to make light of the situation.

"I'm not going to be able to go to Simon's funeral." She said weakly, and tears began to fill her eyes. She took a step back and collapsed in the chair, "This isn't fair." She said and she lifted her hands up to her face to hide her spilled tears.

Elliot looked at Don, who got the hint and walked out of his office leaving Elliot alone with her, "Liv…Liv, honey look at me." He said as he sat in the chair next to her and grabbed her hand and laced it in his, "We're going to get him, this will all be over soon."

Olivia looked over at him, "Yeah, everyone keeps saying that." She said withdrawing her hand and storming out of Cragen's office.

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot didn't know what to do, he was in shock. He kept rereading the passage from Olivia's journal over and over. He couldn't believe that she thought that about him. How could she think that he didn't give a damn? Had he been _that_stand offish? He didn't mean to be. All those times he _had__to_ push her away; he didn't do it because he was mad at her, or didn't like her. The exact opposite actually. He had to act that way because he WAS in love with her.

He walked out of Cragen's office and saw Olivia sitting at her desk, "You're not coming, Elliot." She said when he sat down at his desk.

"It's not your decision, Olivia." He said.

"I'm not going to let you miss the birth of your child." She said as she ran her hands through her hair.

"I don't trust anyone else to protect you." Elliot said honestly.

"I don't want anyone else I care about to die for me." She says angrily. He knows this is killing her, he knows this. Olivia is a strong person who can't stand to have people watch over her. She has always been so independent and so stubborn that Elliot wasn't sure how much help Olivia was going to take.

"Elliot!" He heard Cragen call from the hall; he was running, actually running. Elliot got up and when to see what was going on.

"Kathy just went into labor!" Cragen said beaming, "Come on! I got a car ready for you!" Don yelled, and a smile erupted on his face.

Elliot turned back to look at Olivia, "Congratulations, Elliot." she said with a smile, and Elliot knew that even through her fake smile and cheerfulness that she was happy for him, and he couldn't feel more guilty than having something incredibly amazing happen to him on the day that was so tragic for her.

Before Elliot left he asked Don if he could wait to transfer Olivia until he came back, adding that he was still going with her, "I'll do what I can, Elliot." Don said patting him on the back.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"He's beautiful," Elliot said as he held his baby boy in his arms.

"He looks just like you," Kathy said fixing the blanket around her little man, "You know, I was thinking that maybe we should call him little El," Kathy said grinning.

"Yeah?" Elliot asked shocked.

"Yeah," Kathy said smiling up at him, "When this whole White thing is over," She said glancing at the uniform posted outside of the room, "I want a second chance with you Elliot." She didn't know what came over her, maybe it was the drugs, or maybe it was witnessing Elliot hold his little boy in his large masculine arms; but whatever it was she decided that she didn't want to lose him.

Elliot smiled sympathetically down at her in the hospital bed, he took a seat next to her, "Kath, things aren't going to change. I'm still going to be gone all the time. My work is my passion, and I'm not ready to give it up yet," He handed the baby to Kathy and stood up rubbing his hands through his hair, "I don't know if I'll ever be ready to give her up."

Kathy's eyes went wide; she looked at her husband who clearly had no idea of his Freudian slip up, "Uh, ok…" She said as she shifted and repositioned the baby. She felt a cold shiver run through her, and she tried everything she could to keep herself cool and collective.

"Feeding time!" A nurse interrupted. Elliot moved out of her way and walked into the hallway.

He thought about what he just said, he told Kathy he didn't want to get back together with her. Not only that, he blamed it on the job, which was a stretch of the truth to say the least, because he damned well knew that it wasn't the job keeping him from his wife; but more the person who had sat across from him for the past 9 years. The woman who had supported him, fought with him, helped him, saved his life, saved him from himself, the woman who--

"Hey Daddy," His oldest daughter said and interrupted his thoughts.

"Hey sweetheart," He said pulling her into a hug.

"The baby is beautiful isn't he?" She asked as her eyes sparkled.

"He is," Elliot agreed.

"He's so lucky to have a Daddy like you," Maureen said.

"You really mean that, Mo?" Elliot asked nervously.

"Of course I mean that Daddy! I can't imagine a better father then you."

"But I wasn't around a lot," Elliot heard himself saying.

"It's not like you up and left us, Daddy! You were there, just because you missed a birthday here or there doesn't mean you were terrible father, Dad. You have to forgive yourself." She said patting him on the shoulder and walking into the room.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia sat in the bathroom trying to think of a plan. She occasionally thought of Simon and the family she came so close to having, but she never let herself go too far down that road. She knew White was going to get to Elliot before he got to her. She knew that, and she knew she had to stop that. She couldn't let that happen, no, she wouldn't let that happen!

She wiped her tear stained cheeks and stood up, she knew what she had to do; and she knew exactly how she was going to do it.

EOEOEOEO

"Hey you got a lighter?" She asked Lake, the only one in the bull pen.

"I didn't know you smoked." Lake said as he pulled a book of matches out from his drawer, "Will these do?" He asked.

"They'll be fine," Olivia said placing them in her pocket with no intention of using them, "I'll be on the roof." She told him and began to walk away.

"Wait, Benson." Lake said getting out of his chair and following her, "I'm not supposed to leave you alone."

"Relax, Chester. I'm just going to the roof; even Elliot lets me do that." She said with a wink.

_Liar._

"Ah," Lake began,Olivia could tell he was debating it, and she felt guilty for what she was about to do to him; but she had no choice.

"I'll be fine," She said with a smile and walked past Elliot's locker, being sneaky so that Lake thought it was her own locker, she quickly undid his combination lock, opened it up and threw something in it and headed for the stairs.

Only instead of going up the stairs to the roof, she took them down.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

"It was Olivia wasn't it?" Kathy asked as she watched Elliot change her son.

"Huh?" He asked confused.

"The woman you fell in love with when we were separated, it was Olivia, wasn't it?" When he didn't say anything Kathy continued, "All those years you denied it, but I knew, you know? I knew there was another reason keeping you at the job. When that old guy retired you said you were only going to stay long enough to break in the rookie, well it's been 9 years El, don't you think she's ready?"

"I didn't sleep with Olivia when we were separated, Kath" He said in a monotone voice.

"That's not what I asked," Kathy said under her breath, but was relieved to hear that he in fact did not sleep with her.

"What?"

"Nothing."

EOEOEOEOEO

"Stabler."

"Can you get back to the station?" Cragen asked.

"On my way," Elliot said kissing the baby and passing him to Kathy.

"Be careful, Elliot!" Kathy called out to him, "This baby needs his father."

"What do you got?" Elliot asked as he walked down the hallway.

"I'll tell you when you get here," Cragen said, but his voice was off, something wasn't right and Elliot picked up on it right away.

"Tell me now," He demanded and he began to take longer strides.

"It's Benson." Cragen said, not Olivia. Olivia was too personal; Benson was detaching Olivia from the situation. Benson was the strong Detective that took no shit from nobody, Benson could handle herself. Olivia however was a woman, vulnerable and stubborn at the same time. Cragen should have known that it didn't matter what he called her, she would always be his Liv.

"Where is she?" He demanded as he sprinted down the steps of the hospital to the parking garage. Blood pulsed through his veins, and sweat formed all over his body, and panic…panic hit him full force. He barely got the key in the ignition before his foot was on the pedal pressing as far down as it would go.

"WHERE IS SHE?" Elliot erupted when Cragen didn't answer him fast enough.

"We think she went to find White."

"SHE WHAT? HOW COULD YOU LET HER DO THAT? WHO WAS WATCHING HER?"

"Elliot, calm down right now!" Cragen demanded.

"Do we know for a fact that she took off on her own?" Elliot asked praying that she did go off on her own. As stupid as it was, it was better than the alternative.

"Yeah, we're pretty sure."

"Stubborn sonova bitch!" he yelled into the phone, "I'll be there as fast as I can." He said and hung up his phone.

EOEOEOEOEO

She got into the cab and headed straight to the rent-a-car center. She gave them her real name in hopes that White would tract her down and not Elliot. She didn't want him involved in this.

She thought about him on the long drive upstate. Wondered if they had a boy or a girl. She hoped a boy, Elliot needed another boy. She laughed thinking that it was probably a girl, poor El.

She remembered the last time she and Elliot made this trip. She had been so new at the time, it felt like a lifetime ago. She wasn't that person anymore; but who would be after 9 years of being in Special Victims? They had played car games the entire ride, something that they still do to this day. She wonders if he plays them with his kids, she wonders if Kathy plays too.

She places her hand on the back of her neck, thinking about the events that are to follow her trip to Richard Whites mother's house. _Whatever happens Elliot will be safe, his family will be safe._ This is why she is doing this, she reminds herself as she places her foot on the gas. She won't allow herself to cry, or think of Simon, she can't right now. She doesn't trust herself. She thinks about Elliot and his family and how they will have a chance at a happier life together. As much as it stings her heart, she knows it will warm Elliot's.

EOEOEO

"She doesn't even smoke!" Elliot roared at Lake, "How could you be so stupid!" He said as his temper flared.

"Elliot!" Cragen said again, "You calm down or you are off this case!" He warned. Elliot took a few breaths and sat down in his chair, "Now if we can act like respectable Detectives, let's figure out where she would go. Elliot you know her best, get inside of her head." Don said and walked away to take a phone call.

Elliot looked over at Lake; the poor thing looked like he was going to cry, "Look, I'm sorry man. She knew what she was doing; she was using your newbie status because she knew she could. God, she's so stubborn." Elliot said leaning back in his chair.

"If we don't find her---" Lake began his voice cracking just a bit.

"Don't." Elliot said holding up his hand for him to stop, "Just don't, I can't think about that right now."

"We're going to find her, Elliot." Munch said getting out of his chair and patting Elliot on the shoulder.

"Thanks, Munch." Elliot said.

"Now if you were Olivia where would you go?" He asked sitting down at Olivia's desk.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, man?" Elliot asked his temper rising to the surface again, "Get off!"

Munch held up his hands in defense, "I'm just seeing if she left any clues." Munch said getting up from her desk.

"She wouldn't leave them in her desk…" Elliot said as the little light bulb went off in his head and he jolted up and ran to his locker. He spun the lock around for the correct combination, it took him twice to do it his hands were just a little shaky, "Yes," He said softly as he saw the pink piece of paper that he knew was Olivia's.

He didn't know why but he didn't want anyone else to read it, if it was something she wanted the whole squad to see she would have left it on Cragen's desk, but she didn't. She thoughtfully went into _his_ locker, and left _him_ a note! It had _his_ name on it, no one else's. His hands shook almost uncontrollably as he opened it up.

_Elliot,_

_First of all, just calm down. I know you are upset and probably have already chewed out Lake. It wasn't his fault; please make sure you apologize to him. _

_Secondly, yes I think I have finally lost my mind._

_This is the only way El, he wants me. Me, not you. And I can't put your life or your families' life in danger, you mean too much to me. Jesus, Elliot I don't know what I would do with out you... _

_Please try and understand._

_Love,_

_Olivia_

_PS: When I get back I'll let you yell at me as much as you want, just don't follow me okay? Remember it's me he wants; he just wants to use you to get to me. I promise I will be safe and sound._

Elliot held back the tears that had filled his eyes. _'God damn her_' he thought, _'why does she think her life is less important because she doesn't have a family?'_

"You okay, Elliot?" Munch asked.

He turned around to see the whole squad staring at him. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry, he read the letter over again, especially the part that read, 'Love, Olivia.'

"Not until we find her _safe and sound _will I be okay." He said and took a seat at his desk. He picked up his phone, "Morales, I need your help. I need you to run Olivia's credits cards."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Like hell he was just going to sit around and wait. It took Elliot all of about 15 minutes to figure out where she had gone. He had to wait until the Feds got their shit together before Cragen would allow him to drive off. They took 45 minutes. 45 minutes of pure and totally agony. It was torture waiting for them. He knew where she was, why couldn't he just drive by himself up there?

Because he was going to kill White, that's why, and Cragen knew it. Elliot paced back and forth unable to relax. "He could be doing God knows what to her, and we are sitting here with our thumbs up our asses!" He roared as he paced back and forth between Munch and Fin's desks.

"They're here." Cragen announced as he came out of his office, "Let's go. Munch and Fin you are riding with Agent Bernard, Elliot, you and me are riding with Agent Porter." Elliot gave him the look of death and Cragen knew exactly what he was thinking, "He wants to find her just as much as we do, Elliot." Cragen said warning Elliot to control his temper.

Elliot put up his hands in defense, "Fine."

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia woke up groggy, her vision was blurry and she couldn't remember where she was or what had happened. She looked at her hands and noticed that they were covered in blood. She looked down at her blouse, it was torn, her chest was heaving out of her bra and she had a 4 inch gash on her chest that was bleeding profusely. She also had the world's largest headache. She put her hand to her head to stop the pounding, only to realize that she was bleeding from her head too.

She took a deep breath and tried not to panic. Where ever she was, she was alive. She had survived. Wasn't that the most important thing? That is what she told her victims at least. But what had she survived? What the hell happened, and where the FUCK was she? She quickly turned around and saw a body lying across the floor, a pool of blood around him. _White,_ she knew that much at least. She looked to her left and saw his mother with a bullet through her head.

Before she could process anything else she heard sirens coming, "Elliot," she said softly. She tried to get up as carefully as possible, although as she stood up she noticed a pain through her ankle that she had never experienced before. She looked down to see her foot hanging to the side, clearly broken. She collapsed to the floor and wrapped her arm around her injured ankle and cried from the pain.

When the sirens got louder and she forced herself to crawl the door. She reached the front door and pushed it open. The sunlight stung her eyes, and her vision was still blurry. She made it to the porch when she heard him, "OLIVIA!" He called out as Porter stopped the vehicle and Elliot jumped out full force, "Olivia!" He said panicked when he saw her body covered in blood. He ran up the porch steps and collected Olivia into his arms, "Are you okay?" He asked as he held her tight to his body.

Don and Porter watched Elliot embrace Olivia for a minute or two before they walked up to the porch, "Olivia, what happened? Where is White?" Don asked as Elliot was pulling off his coat and placing it around Olivia's shoulder.

On the verge of tears she answered her superior, "He's inside...dead." She said apologetically and turning to Elliot, "I'm sorry; I just can't remember what happened." She said as she ran her blood covered hand over her eyebrow. She gave a confused look, "How did I get here?"

Don, Porter, and Elliot gave each other nervous looks, but no one said anything.

"Where are we?" Olivia asked Elliot as he held a cloth to her head to stop some of the bleeding. Elliot's eyes widened, she was scaring him, scaring the shit out of him to be exact.

"Do you remember driving here?" Elliot asked softly.

Olivia shook her head, "You still haven't told me where we are yet, Elliot!" She said in an angry tone. The mood swing did not go unnoticed either.

They knew that was not a good sign, "Elliot, take her to the hospital now!" Don ordered and Porter threw Elliot the keys to the van that they had just arrived in. Don watched enough medical shows to know that she could have serious head injury.

"Can you walk, Liv?" Elliot asked as he tried to help her up, along with Don and Porter.

"OWE!!!!" She screamed out like nothing Elliot had ever heard before and collapsed to the floor crying in pain.

"Her ankle," Porter pointed out the mangled looking thing.

Elliot saw the bone sticking out of Olivia's skin and he had to hold back the vomit that was sitting in the back of throat, "I'm going pick you up, okay?" He asked her very carefully. He saw the look on Don's face and knew that she could be in serious trouble. How do you not remember your ankle being broke?

Elliot carefully placed Olivia in his arms and Cragen and Porter helped load her into the van. They were all thankful that the van was equipped with medical supplies and a stretcher. Don and Porter wrapped Olivia's ankle while Elliot attended to her head and chest wounds. He placed a wad of gauze around her head in hopes that the blood would clot soon. She was crying out the entire time. Olivia had a strong tolerance for pain, Elliot knew this, Elliot saw this every day for the past 9 years. So when Olivia did scream out in pain he knew that it had to of hurt_ real_ bad.

Once her head was wrapped as well as he could do it, he looked at the blood still oozing from her chest. _Jesus, she is going to kill me_, he thought when he went to attend to her upper breast. His hands were shaking and he felt Don and Porters eyes fixed on him. Elliot knew this was an emergency situation and that Don and Porter didn't think he was trying to cop-a-feel or anything, but Elliot still couldn't help but feel awkward about it.

When they had her situated Don radioed to central that Stabler was on his way to the Hospital with Benson who was in bad shape. They watched Elliot take off like a bat out of hell, and then heard the sirens from Munch, Fin and Agent Bernard.

"About time," Cragen snapped at the trio.

"Where is Benson?" Fin asked when he saw the pool of blood on the porch.

"Stabler just took her to the hospital." Don answered.

"She going to be okay?" Fin asked.

"I hope so." Don said.

"What do we got?" Agent Bernard asked stepping up onto the porch.

"White is inside, Benson said he was dead, but she has no memory of what happened." Don answered as the 5 men walked into the house. They saw White's mother right away. She was sitting in a rocking chair; eye's wide open with a bullet through her skull.

"Sick fuck," Fin mumbled.

The living room floor looked like someone had spray painted the floors in blood, there was blood everywhere, "This must have been where Benson was," Don stated at the pool of blood on the floor. He could see the trail marks from the spot to the porch.

"Captain!" Agent Porter shouted motioning everyone to come over, "This must have been where White was…" He said pointing to another pool of blood.

"Where'd he go?" Munch asked aloud, scared of the answer, "The trail of blood stops here."

"Split up," Don ordered, "He couldn't have gone far."

EOEOEOEOEO

"You don't let her out of your sight. Do you understand me?" Cragen ordered through his cell phone.

"I won't, but is it safe to bring her to the hospital?" Elliot asked as he sped through the country roads.

"We have no choice, Elliot. If it was just the broken ankle and cuts I would say no, but she might be hemorrhaging on her brain. She needs the Hospital, that is why I said you don't leave her, you got it? I don't care if the Doctors and nurses beat you with there stethoscopes, you. Do. Not. Leave. Her. Alone!"

"I got it." Elliot said and looked behind him to see if Olivia had woken up yet. She had been unconscious since they wrapped her ankle.

"Is she awake?" Don asked.

"Not yet." Elliot answered as he squeezed her hand, praying that she would be alright.

"Okay call me when you get there."

EOEOEOEO

When Elliot got to the hospital the Feds had the place surrounded, which for the first time in Elliot's life he was thankful for. They also collected a couple of Doctors and nurses and told them about Olivia's situation.

With in 5 minutes of her being there she was already in the MRI machine. Elliot thanked the Doctors and nurses countless times for helping her. He was a nervous wreck and didn't have any idea how to control the situation.

"We're almost done, Detective Stabler," One of the nurses said to him sympathetically, "Would you like a change of clothes? I'm sure we can get you into a pair of scrubs." She said with a smile.

Elliot looked down at his appearance, blood everywhere, _her_ blood. He didn't know why but he couldn't wash it way, couldn't take it off, it was a part of her, and he wasn't ready to let go yet, "No, I'm fine." He said walking away from her.

EOEOEOEO

"Just a severe concussion. She will be fine, well she's going to be in a lot of pain and is going to need a lot of assistance for the next few months, but other then that she is going to make a full recovery," Elliot told Don over the phone. He was sitting in the arm chair waiting for her to wake up.

"That's great news," Don said and paused before he spoke again, "A vehicle is coming to get you guys soon. That is all I can say. We'll find him soon and then you guys can come home."

"She's going to hate this, you know."

"Yeah I know I wouldn't like it either if I were her. Has she woken up at all?"

"No, not yet. The Doctors say any time now."

"Well maybe it will be better if she wakes up when you guys are already moved." Don said, "She won't be able to run then." He said with a smirk.

Elliot let out a little laugh, "I think you're right."

"You going to be okay with out Kathy and kids?"

Elliot sighed, he was going to miss his kids, especially his newborn son; but he didn't have a choice, "Yeah, I'll manage." He said placing his hand in Olivia's.

"Okay then son, this is goodbye for now. Take care of our girl."

"I will. Goodbye Don."


	7. Chapter 7

A/n: This story is writing itself...

Chapter 7

It had been three days since Elliot and Olivia had arrived at their new 'home' in Arizona. Olivia had basically slept the entire time too via her pain pills. She woke up early that morning to the smell of coffee. It was her favorite way of waking up. She rolled out of bed and hopped her way to her crutches.

She hobbled her way into the kitchen to see Elliot standing there, "Good Morning." She said as she plopped herself on the stool.

"Good morning," Elliot said as he watched her carefully, "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Better." She said with a smile and Elliot placed an oversized mug full of coffee goodness in front of her, "Smells delicious." She said as she took a sip.

"You're getting pretty good on those things, Liv." He said pointing to her crutches.

"Yeah well since I'm going to be on them for the next forever and a day, I decided I better get good at 'em."

The first two days were horrible with the crutches. She knocked into everything, banged her foot a few times, and took out Elliot twice, "We should change your bandages," Elliot said when he noticed that the gauze on her forehead had blood seeping through it.

"It's okay I can do it, Elliot." She protested, moving to get up.

"Nope, I got it." Elliot said getting up and heading to the bathroom to get her supplies.

When he came back he sat down next to her at the island, he placed her knees in-between his so he could get as close as possible to her forehead. His hands shook a little bit when he realized the close proximity they were in, he didn't even realize that he had positioned her legs in-between his; but now that he noticed, he began to perspire just a little bit.

He liked doing this for her, he liked helping her. He smiled as he cleaned the wound, being careful not to rip her stitches, "Does that sting?" He asked.

"It's, er…fine." She said, and Elliot couldn't help but notice the crack in her voice. Could it be that she too was nervous about the closeness. Or maybe she was scared. Oh God was he making her uncomfortable? She still hadn't regained her memory from the White attack, and although they did a rape kit and didn't find anything, it doesn't mean that he didn't fuck with her somehow…

"Is this okay, Liv?" He asked. He needed to make sure he wasn't freaking her out.

"Yeah, it's fine," She said drawing a deep breath.

"You sure?" He asked again.

"Positive," She said, this time with a reassuring smile.

When he was finished with her forehead he moved Olivia's blouse to the side so he could clean the wound on her chest. He couldn't help but notice Olivia's chest rising and falling rapidly, as it was matching his in perfect sink. He also couldn't help but notice the reddish tint that crept up in Olivia's cheeks.

He smiled when he saw this, "I'm not hurting you, am I?" He whispered into her ear.

But she didn't trust herself to speak, so she just shook her head. He was close to her; his lips were so close to her neck that she thought she was going to die. He was touching her very gently trying to be careful, and trying not to cop-a-feel at the same time, and given the location of her cut she knew that was hard to do.

"El?" She said softly as he cleaned her wound.

"Yeah?" He said not looking up.

"I'm glad you're here with me." She said softly.

He then looked up at her, his eyes sparkling, "I'm glad I'm here too."

EOEOEOEOEO

"Hey, El?" Olivia called out from her master bedroom.

"Yeah?" Elliot said as he walked in.

"Can you help me wrap my leg?" She asked.

"For what?"

"Um, because I need to take a bath. It's been three days; I can't stand the smell of myself anymore." She said with a smile that made Elliot laugh.

"Yeah you do stink," He said joking around, "I'll get a plastic bag and some tape, and draw up a nice relaxing bubble bath for you; I know you love lot's of bubbles." He said with a wink, remembering the tub incident from last week.

"You're the best." She said with a smile.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia sat on the toilet seat unsure of what to do. She had attempted to get into the tub 6 times, each time failing miserably. There was just no way to position her body and keep her balance. She needed help, but she didn't know how to ask Elliot.

About thirty minutes later Olivia still sat on the toilet feeling completely helpless, "You need anything, Liv?" she heard him called out.

"Uh…I…er…help."

"What was that?" He called out, unable to make out what she had just said.

"I uh…need some help," She said softly.

"Oh, do you want me to come in?" He asked nervously.

"Uh…yeah."

When Elliot walked in he gave pathetic looking smile, "You haven't even gotten in yet? The water is probably freezing now, and look all the bubbles are almost gone."

"I know…I just…uh…I can't get…um…in."

"Oh…" He said as he turned the hot water on to make the tub warm again, "Okay well I can help you," He said trying not to sound panicky, "I'll just lift you in there." He said as he walked over towards her and she tightened her towel around herself, "its ok, Liv. You can just get the towel wet, we have plenty more." He said easing her fears of him seeing her naked…again.

He slowly picked her up and placed her gently in the tub, he even got a step stool that she could place her leg on so she wouldn't get it wet, "Thanks, Elliot. I'm sorry I'm so helpless."

"Olivia! You're not helpless, you're injured, and besides I don't mind. I mean what else am I going to out here in the middle of nowhere?" He said with a famous smile, "Just let me know when you're done and I'll help you out."

"Okay, thanks Elliot."

"And Liv? Don't wait so long to ask for help next time."

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia searched her new wardrobe in search of something that was cute yet comfortable. Since all of her clothes were new she didn't have that 'perfect' pair of sweats yet. Porter had given Casey some money to go shopping for Olivia before they left New York. She had to admit that Casey had her style almost perfected. Olivia loved everything Casey had picked out. Including the silk black teddy, with matching bra and panties. Olivia was either going to smack Casey or thank her for that…she just wasn't sure what yet.

When Olivia was done getting dressed into her pajamas she heard a soft muffled sound coming from Elliot's room. She hobbled over to his room and knocked on the door, "El?"

"Yeah?" He said trying his best not to sound like he had just been crying.

"Mind if I come in?" She asked nervously hoping she wasn't walking into anything like the shower scene that happened last week.

"Uh, yeah, come in," He said quickly wiping the tears from his eyes, hoping she wouldn't notice.

"Oh, Elliot." She said sympathetically when she saw his red eyes. She made her way over to the bed where he was sitting and sat beside him, with out even thinking she pulled him into her, "I'm so sorry, Elliot. You must really miss your family. I'm sorry I am keeping them from you." She said softly.

"What?" He said pulling back, "No. No, Liv, that's not what this, is about." He said as he wiped a tear that had just fell, "I just…Jesus Olivia I thought I lost you the other day. When I saw you on the porch you were covered in blood, I mean it was head to toe…and then, and then you couldn't remember anything, and you were unconscious, and I had to drive you to the hospital, and the whole time I thought you were dead!" he said as he became more worked up and tears fell freely from his face. She pulled him back into her arms and rubbed his back, she didn't know what to say.

They hadn't spoken a word about that day and she was thankful for that. Her memory was very fuzzy and what she could remember she didn't like, and it didn't need to be retold. White was a sick fuck, end of story. Why bother bringing that frightful day up again?

"I've never been more scared in my entire life," He whispered into her ear, "Please don't ever scare me like that again, Liv." He said as he rubbed his hands around her back.

"I'm sorry," She confessed.

"Okay," He said and pulled himself away from her. He knew that if he held onto her any longer that his body was going to react inappropriately, or he wasn't going to be able to control himself and he was going to kiss her, "Conan is on, care to watch it with me?" He asked as he flipped on the TV.

"Would love too," She said with a smile and they both moved their bodies up so that their backs were leaning against the headboard.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

A couple hours later Olivia had drifted off to sleep, and Elliot was watching her. She looked so peaceful when she slept. His eyes were drifting and he was about to close them for good when he saw her eye lids flutter open.

She quickly sat up and looked around, her hand going right to her heart when she figured out where she was. She looked over at him and his heavy eyelids, "I should probably head back to my room," She said and attempted to make her way out of the bed.

"Don't," Elliot said stopping her from going any further, "You're half asleep, you will probably end up killing yourself on your death sticks," He joked and she laughed.

"That is probably true." She said lying back down on the bed, only this time she repositioned herself (on purpose) so that her body was closer to his than it was before, "You sure this is okay?" She asked.

Elliot smiled and wrapped his arms around her, "Positive." He said and his eyes could not stay open for one more second. The moment he felt her in his arms his body gave up and fell to sleep.

EOEOEOEO

An hour later Olivia was watching Elliot sleep. She had watched him countless times before, but something was different about him now, and she couldn't put her finger on it. She thought about what he had given up to be with her, and it melted her heart. Not one person, not even her own mother, had cared so much about her well being. Elliot was the one person on this earth that she could trust 100 percent. In the words of Meredith from Grey's Anatomy,_he was her person._

Before she even contemplated what she was doing, she saw her hand cup his jaw and felt the soft skin beneath her palm. She moved her head closer to his on the pillow so that they were almost touching. One more inch and their lips would be fused together.

"Hey," He said opening his eyes and smiling.

"Huh?" She said shocked that he was awake, and she quickly removed her hand from his face, "I mean hey," She said and tried to back herself up from him.

However she felt his arms sneak around her waist and he pulled her forward, closer to him, "Don't," he said, "I like you close," and this time he brought his hand up to cup her jaw, only he didn't stop there. She saw his lips coming ever so slowly towards hers, and her stomach became infested with butterflies as she felt his soft yet firm lips gently cover hers. It only lasted a second, but God did it feel like a lifetime.

When she opened her eyes she noticed that Elliot was sleeping again, she wondered if he would even remember this in the morning, maybe he was still sleeping when he did it; maybe he thought she was Kathy.

"Liv?" He said softly, his eyes still closed.

"Hm?" She asked and even wondered if it was audible.

"I didn't freak you out, did I?" He asked his voice muffled through the pillow, his eyes still closed.

"Ah, no…" She said unsure of what to even say.

"K, go to sleep alright?" He said as he pulled her a little bit closer to his body.

"I though I was the sleep cuddlier," She joked as he positioned his body around hers.

"Maybe that was just what I lead you to believe," he said placing a kiss on her long neck, "G'night, Liv." He moaned and before she could open her mouth to respond she him snore. She smiled and shifted her body more comfortably with his.


	8. Chapter 8

**a/n: Sorry for the late update...exams are kicking my ass!**

Chapter 8

When Elliot woke up the next day he smiled thinking about Olivia lying next to him, only when he went to squeeze his arms around her, she wasn't there, "Liv?" He called out softly as he quickly got out of bed.

"Liv?" He called out again, this time a little bit louder. He walked through the hallway and out into the living room. When she wasn't there, or in the kitchen, or even in the bathroom his heart began to pace. Fear crept into his lungs and he couldn't breathe. Visions of Olivia lying on Whites porch covered in blood ran through his mind, "Liv?"

He ran towards her bedroom, blood pulsing through his veins. He opened up the door to her bedroom and took a deep breath when he saw her sitting up in bed reading a book, "Jesus, Olivia." He said when he saw her, "You scared the hell out of me," He said sitting on the bed and pulling her into a hug.

Feeling his heart pound against her chest she knew that Elliot must have thought the worst, "I'm sorry, Eliot. I didn't realize…" She said as she rubbed her hands on his back.

"You're going to send me to an early grave, Olivia." He said with a smirk and released her body.

She smiled back at him and placed her hand on his shoulder, "I'm sorry I scared you. I just sort of…when I was lying there…with you…I---"

"You freaked out and you ran…well hobbled is probably more like it," He said with a grin.

She laughed a little, "Yeah, I mean…what is going on with us? Is there something between us? Are we even an us?" She ran her hand through her hair, clearly frustrated and now a little embarrassed, "What is _this?_"

"Olivia, take a breath." He said as he ran his hands up and down her arms, "I'm not sure what this is, Liv; but I know it's something. I mean all these years we have played this game, and Liv, I don't want to play anymore. I don't want to fight _this_ anymore." He said motioning between them. "Too much has happened, too much has changed," He looked deep into her eyes searching for something he knew was there, and when he saw it, he fused his lips together with hers. His hand went straight to her jaw and she opened his mouth to his allowing his tongue to navigate around her mouth.

When she pulled back for air she placed her hand to his chest and pushed him back gently, "No," she said softly when he went to crash his lips back on hers, "You're married. I won't be the other--"

But he stopped her before she could say anymore, "I'm not married anymore, Olivia," He said with a smile, "My divorce was finalized and we are not getting back together. And Liv, you could never be the _other_woman."

"Huh?" Olivia said in a daze, she couldn't have heard him right.

"I told her after Elliot was born that I couldn't do it. I couldn't make that mistake again, Liv." He placed his hands on the back of her neck and she tilted her head into them. He hovered his lips over hers, asking her for permission to kiss her again. She grabbed his shirt with her fist and forced his lips to come crashing down hers.

When they pulled back for oxygen Olivia smiled at him, "We have to take this slow, Elliot. See where it goes, because I can't lose you. You mean too much to me to throw away for some crazy, hot, sex."

"Crazy, hot, sex, huh?" He teased.

"I mean it Elliot," She said seriously, "It would kill me if this changed us and we couldn't be friends anymore."

"I know, Liv. I know." He said and placed a kiss on her forehead, "Come on, I'll make you pancakes." he said helping her out of the bed, before his body could react any further.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

After lunch Olivia fell asleep on the couch. Elliot was doing a crossword puzzle when he heard her toss and turn. Elliot could tell she was having a nightmare. She had a scared look on her face and kept mumbling things like, "No…get off…stop…White."

Elliot felt his stomach lurch into his throat. Was she reliving the day with White? She still had no memory of the attack; well that was what she told Elliot anyways. He got up and knelt down beside her, "Liv," he said softly, and again a little bit louder when she didn't stir.

"Huh?" She said when she woke to see Elliot kneeling there.

"You were having a bad dream," Elliot said as he placed a piece of hair behind her ear, "Are you okay? Did you remember something?" He asked hoping that something had jogged her memory.

Olivia looked at him blankly, "I don't know. I don't remember what I was dreaming about."

"Oh," He said and got up from his knees and sat down on the couch with her, "Liv?" He asked gently placing her legs carefully onto his lap, "You would tell me if you remembered something, right?"

Olivia hesitated before she spoke, "Yeah, yes. Of course I would."

Not really believing her but willing to drop the subject for now, "How is your leg feeling? You need a pain pill?"

She smiled at him, "Nah, I'm alright for now, thanks."

EOEOEOEO

"And you checked all Hospitals with in a 4 hour radius?" Cragen was saying into the phone when Agent Porter walked into his office. Cragen motioned for him to sit down, "Uh huh, ok." He said and hung up his phone, "How can I help you?" He asked Dean.

"I'm leaving in an hour," He said checking his phone, "You want me to tell them anything?"

"Just that we'll get him soon." Don said sighing, he felt like that was all he said anymore, "What you Olivia's personal Fed are now, or something?" Don asked curious as to why he was involved in her business.

"Just lucky I guess," He answered nonchalantly wanting nothing more then to end the conversation immediately.

"You like her don't you?" Don said finally understanding why Dean always came around now.

Dean immediately blushed, "Uh…"

Don smiled, "You do, don't you?"

"I'm sort of in love with her." He admitted, and wasn't sure why.

"Wow. Does she know?" Don asked surprised by his confession.

Dean laughed, "Yeah she knows."

"Oh wow, so are you guys together?"

"Uh…we were…but not anymore." Dean said and his smile faded, "But I'm working on changing that." He said looking at his phone again, "Ok well I gotta run." He said getting up.

"Give them my best, would ya?"

"Will do."

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot was making dinner when he heard a knock on the door. He put down the spatula reached for his gun that was attached to his hip and walked to the door. Porter.

He quickly opened the door, "Tell me you got him?"

"Sorry." Dean said and Elliot opened the door up to him disappointedly, "Came to give you your new identities." He said holding up a manila folder.

"So we are going to be staying here longer then planned, huh?"

"We just want to make sure we have our bases covered. For all we know we could have him in custody tonight."

Elliot snorted, "Yeah right. You guys aren't even close, are you?"

"Where's Liv?" Dean asked choosing to ignore the question.

"Taking a nap," Elliot said pointing to the bedroom, "She should be getting up soon," Elliot said and he started to walk towards the bedroom, but felt Deans hand on his shoulder pulling him back.

"I got it," He said with a wink and walked towards the bedroom, "Trust me, its fine." He said a little too cocky for Elliot.

Elliot's fists clenched, and his face became red with anger, "oh hell no," he whispered and walked over towards the door. He placed his ear against it needed to know exactly what was going on.

"Liv, baby. Wake up." Dean said as he sat on the bed and gently stirred Olivia.

"Elliot?" She asked groggily. Outside Elliot couldn't help but smile, 'damn straight' he thought.

"No, Liv. It's Dean."

She quickly shot up, "Dean?"

"Yeah, it's me. How are you feeling?"

She shifted uncomfortably underneath the covers, "I'm okay, considering."

"How's Stabler treating you? I'm surprised you haven't two haven't killed each other yet," He said jokingly.

"We're---"

"Best friends," He finished the sentence for her, "yeah I know. You tell me all the time." He took a deep breath and ran his hand through her hair, "I miss you. He doesn't deserve to have you. You're too good to him, Olivia." He said looking into her eyes.

"Dean," She said warningly. She didn't want to fight with him about Elliot, again. That is why she ultimately broke up with him, well that and the fact that she was desperately in love with her partner.

"Olivia, I'm in love with you. I want to marry you; I want to have babies with you,"

On the other side of the door Elliot's heart collapsed into his chest. HE wanted to marry her; HE wanted to have babies with her. He then felt his heart sink even further when he realized that Dean and Olivia had been dating, and he didn't have the slightest clue. Why didn't she tell him? He couldn't take anymore of this, he went back to the kitchen, tossed out the grill cheese that was burnt to a crisp and tried again.

"Don't say anything. Just think about it, please?" Dean said placing his hand on her shoulder. He looked into her eyes and placed his lips softly to hers, "Just give us another try, Liv."

EOEOEOEOEO

An hour later Elliot and Olivia were now Joshua and Christina Murphy. Brother and sister…not husband and wife as Elliot was hoping. He glared at Dean when he told him that info, Dean must have insisted on it. Prick.

"And we don't have to get jobs?" Olivia asked shocked.

"Nope. Like I said we are going to get him soon, Liv. We are." He said and glared at her a little bit longer then Elliot liked, "The identities are more for your medical issues." He said looking at the stitches in her forehead.

"So we are just supposed to hide out here and do nothing?" Olivia asked a tint of anger in her voice ignoring the longing stares that Porter was giving her and the death glares Elliot was giving Porter.

"It's for your---"

"Protection, yeah I know."

Dean looked at his phone, "Damn. I gotta go. Remember no phone calls to New York. It's the easiest way for him to track you. No letters either. I'll be your only contact, got that?"

Olivia and Elliot shook there heads, "Got it," They said in unison, and Dean gave them a funny look.

Dean stood up to walk out, but paused first, "Think about what I said Olivia." And then he was gone.

"Care to fill me in there, Liv?" Elliot asked anger evident in his tone.

Olivia rolled her eyes, "Nothing," She sighed, and looked up at his puppy dog eyes, shit, she couldn't lie to him, "Ok, fine," She said running her hands through her hair, "We used to date."

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked softly.

"I don't know," She said honestly.

"Are you in love with him?"

Olivia nearly burst out laughing, and Elliot hoped that was a good sign, "No, Elliot, I'm not."

"You guys aren't together anymore?" He asked his heart now beating again after hearing that she wasn't in love with him.

"No, we are not together anymore. I ended it like four months ago."

"He's in love with you," He said quietly.

"Yeah," She said not able to look him in the eyes.

_'But I'm in love with you'_

_'I'm in love with you, too.'_

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"Nothing." He said and got up from the couch and walked to the kitchen, "You want a beer?" He called out to her.

"Definitely." She called back.

EOEOEOEOEO

"I miss him," She said snuggling up to Elliot on the couch.

He draped his arm around her, "I know,"

She fought back the tears that were coming, but she knew it was an unfair fight, "It's like I'm not supposed to have a family. Like I'm supposed to be alone for the rest of my life,"

He quickly pulled her fragile body into his arms, "You're not alone, Liv. And as long as I'm alive I will make sure that you are never alone." He said as he inhaled the scent of her hair.

"Why'd he have to kill my only family, Elliot?" She sobbed into his chest uncontrollably for at least ten minutes. She sniffled and looked up at him. His blue eyes were bright, and she couldn't help but notice the tears threatening to spill.

If Elliot ever, ever got his hands on White he would do things that not even White himself could dream up. He squeezed Olivia warmly, as she released her tears onto his shirt. She hadn't cried about Simon since they got to Arizona, and Elliot was beginning to worry. Knowing Olivia and how she bottles up her emotions Elliot wasn't sure if she would ever open up to him.

Crying had taken all the energy she had out of her and she shifted on Elliot's lap, "I'm tired. I think I'm going to head to bed." She said carefully getting up. She felt just a little bit embarrassed for letting herself completely crumble in Elliot's arms.

"What are you doing?" She asked when she noticed he was following her.

"I'm going with you." He said as matter of factly.

"I'm fine, really Elliot." She said.

He stood there and stared at her for awhile, "I'm not." He said honestly, "Olivia, when I woke up this morning, and you weren't there---I…It scared the hell out of me…"

"Ok...but no funny business," She warned with a sexy smile that was going to eventually kill him one of these days, "I meant what I said before, Elliot. I want to take this slow…whatever this is."

He held up his hands in defense, "No funny business. I just---"

_...Freak out when you're not next to me_

_...want to make love to you all the time_

_...want to hold you forever_

…_am completely in love with you_

"…we can still cuddle though, right?" He asked as he stripped into just his boxers, and Olivia had to turn away so he didn't see the heat in her face.

"Yeah, we can cuddle."


	9. Chapter 9

**a/n: Sorry for the delay---tis the season of shopping, exams, family being in town and yadda yadda yadda, not enough time for writing. But here it is, and i think you will enjoy...i hope you enjoy!! HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE! **

CHAPTER 9

_This is torture, absolutely and positively torture. _

Her arms were wrapped so tight against his body that he almost couldn't breath; but move them? Oh, I think not. Her head was nuzzled in the crook of his neck, and his arms were wrapped protectively around her as well. He has never cuddled like this, face to face. Never, not once. He wonders if that is weird. He was married for 20 years and he and Kathy had never slept this intimately.

She cried in his arms again tonight. She sobbed so hard Elliot thought she might hyperventilate. He could feel the warm tears fall down his neck, and he felt her pain deep in his heart. When her heart was broken it ultimately broke his. How could it not?

Olivia had told him that she felt like God was mocking her by giving her Simon. That her mother had fucked her head up so bad that she honestly believed she was meant to be alone for her entire life. Her mother also convinced her that no one could love her, and that Olivia herself was incapable of love, given that she was conceived in hate.

_"I prayed to God once," She confessed to him, "I prayed that my mother would come home sober," Elliot knew something was changing with them, because she had never, ever talked about her mother, or her childhood to him before, "That night, I ended up in the hospital with a cracked skull. The worst beating I had ever received." She said as she clutched Elliot's shirt with her tight fists._

_"My mother lost all her family when she got pregnant with me. Apparently my grandparents didn't believe her that she was raped, and banished her. Can you imagine?" She said running her hands along Elliot's arms, "No wonder she---"_

_"Don't Liv, that's not fair." He said stroking her hair._

_"Anyways, she told me, 'it's you and me Liv, you and me, no one else could ever love something as pathetic as you and me'. This is what she told me when she rocked me back and forth on the bathroom floor, my head bleeding profusely, and I kept going in and out of consciousness."_

_Elliot sighed, "Don't" Olivia said, "Don't pity me, that's not why I'm telling you this," She said running her hand up his face. _

_"I'm not, I wasn't it. I'm just sorry."_

_"Your father beat you too, didn't he?" She asked her dark brown eyes searching his blue ones._

_"Yes,"_

_"Did you ever hate him?"_

_"My situation was completely different than yours, Liv. He never sent me to the hospital."_

_"That's not what I asked you." She said as her hands traveled along his chest._

_"Yes, sometimes I hated him," He said watching her hands on his chest, "How many times?" _

_"How many times what?" She asked as she laid her head on his chest._

_"How many times did she send you to the Hospital?"_

_She didn't look at him, but continued to rub circles on his abdomen, "Too many to count."_

_He rubbed his hand over her back, "She's not the only one who can love you,"_

_She looked up at him with her water filled eyes, her expression was hard to read and for the first time Elliot didn't know what she was thinking just by looking at her, "I know," She whispered, "I mean I think I know…" She said sounding unsure of herself, "I'm afraid to love anyone," She said but not pulling herself away from him, "Everyone I love dies." And with that the intense hyperventilating crying began._

_"It's ok to be scared, Liv." He said against her ear. _

_She propped her head up and he wiped her tears that fell down her cheek. His thumb stayed on her face and ran along the length of her luscious lips. He hovered over them making sure she wouldn't freak out before he very slowly and very softly captured hers with his. He didn't pry her mouth open with his tongue like he wanted too; he didn't flip her over and climb on top of her, like he VERY much wanted to do. He did however pull away from her lips and pull her into his arms and offered her his body as the comfort she needed._

So now here he was, with Olivia sleeping next to him, intimately. She was at complete peace, or so he thought. Until she started to move and her hands all over his body. At first he thought she was doing it out of anger, having another nightmare; however her hands were gentle, and rhythmic. And then he heard something…a moan? No, that couldn't have been it.

Oh, but it was. It was deep, deep in the back of her throat moan. He had imagined how she would sound, and what he heard was nothing, nothing compared to how she was actually sounding. It was beautiful, sexy, and the most erotic thing he had ever heard.

_Yes, this was torture._

She pulled away from him, her hands slipping underneath the covers…

_No fucking way…_

Elliot had to adjust himself as there was not enough room in his shorts for his ever growing, and ever throbbing member, and if that was not enough, she had just moaned his name. He could see her hand trailing over her inner thighs, and he could have died in that moment. He had to do something; but what? He couldn't wake her up in the current state he was in, and he couldn't move because she would wake up from the loss of contact.

He could see her hand move away from her body and then he felt it. Her warm, soft and silky palm was touching him…ON HIS THIGH. Her hand was on his thigh. He had to do something, she didn't know what she was doing, and at the rate she was going he was going to cum all over the goddamn place.

"Olivia," he whispered, praying she wouldn't notice his current state, "Liv, wake up," He said shaking her gently. He instantly felt her hand move away from his thigh.

Her eyes opened immediately, "hmmm?" She said looking at him,_all_ of him.

_'So much for her not noticing,' _he thought. He felt the heat on his face and he was sure it was beat red. "Were you having a dream?" He asked softly.

"The best dream in the entire world," She said sliding her hand to his chest and rubbing it up and down.

"I don't think that is a good idea, Liv," He said looking down at the sheets, his erection ready to poke a hole through them.

"Touch me,"

_WHAT?!_

"What?" He said his voice changing to a high pitch.

She giggled, "Touch me," she moved her hand and enveloped it with his bringing it up to her shirt, "Like this," She said as his strong hand felt the curve of her breast.

"Olivia," He said in a warning tone, "we're taking this slow remember?"

She smiled up at him, "I'm not asking you to fuck me, and I'm asking you to touch me. I want you to touch me, Elliot." She said in a still groggy tone.

_Well for fucks sake!_

He cupped her breast and squeezed it gently. He brought his other hand around and placed it on her hip rubbing it along her side, "Like this?" He asked nervously, like this was his first time ever touching a girl.

"Mmm," she said; because that was all she could say. Her panties were soaked from the dream that she just had, and all she wanted was for it to become a reality. His touch was so much more satisfying than that of her dream. Well, than that of any other man that had ever touched her. She decided that he had magical hands, because what he was doing, right now, made her insides wiggle, her stomach hurt and her thighs absolutely burn.

"Olivia," He groaned when he felt her hand cup his length and rub slowly up his shaft.

"What?" She said with a smirk.

"If you keep that up, it's going to be over before it starts," He said, as his lips became mere millimeters away from her lips.

She was the one that placed her soft lips against his, her tongue not wasting anytime to get inside of his mouth. It was hot, hard, and wet, and if she continued to stroke him like she was, and kiss him like this, there was no way he was going to last another minute.

He pulled away from her and shifted her so that he could climb on top of her. He placed his lips back to hers; but only momentarily. He proceeded to move his lips to her neck, nibbling on her ear for a second and then down towards her breasts.

"Off," he growled when he realized her shirt was getting in the way of seeing her real beauty.

"You have two hands," She hissed, as her thighs clinched in anticipation.

It took him about .00001 seconds to rip off her shirt and throw it to the floor. His lips dived right into her right breast as he played with the other one.

"Elliot," She groaned in pleasure, "Jesus that feels so good."

He kissed around her breast, and then under it, licking off the sweat that she was covered in. He kissed down her abdomen making note of her flawless abs. He felt her extremely long and silky leg wrap around his back and all he wanted to do was fuck the living shit out of her; but he couldn't. Not yet. He wanted to wait for the right time, make absolutely sure that that was what she wanted. He could wait forever if he needed too, because for her, he would wait for an eternity.

He felt the waist line of her panties on his mouth, and this time he didn't ask for her to take them off, he slipped them off methodically, his hands burning in desire. They were wet, she was wet. She was wet and she was moaning his name, HIS NAME! And he wasn't dreaming, and she wasn't dreaming. This was actually happening. He slid his fingers into her easily and rubbed them around her drenched folds.

_Yeah, she must have had some dream…_

By the time his mouth made it to her throbbing core, she was clenching her hands on his back, probably hurting him with her nails; but he didn't seem to mind, and neither did she. He spread her thighs apart and his hands trailed over her outer thigh as his lips pressed deep into hers. His tongue went over and over her clitoris, and she was surprised that she was still holding out. Because she was going to fucking cum, all over the goddamn place. They had so much built up sexual frustration that by the time he was done, they were going to have to flip the mattress because it was going to be soaked.

"Fuck, Elliot," She panted her eyes closed and her body shaking compulsively.

"Let go, Liv, release yourself to me," He pleaded. He couldn't believe that he was doing this to her, Him, Elliot Stabler was going to make Olivia Benson, HIS partner cum all over the place. His erection throbbed even harder than it already was.

"Elllliot, fuck," She moaned and grabbed the sheets to her sides, clenching them so hard in her fist that her knuckles turned white. Her body shook, and Elliot drank up ever drop that was released from her, "Holy shit," She moaned as her orgasm ripped through her body.

She grabbed his member in her hand, moving it up and down his shaft, her body still shaking from her earth shattering orgasm. She cupped his sac and kissed him hard on the mouth tasting herself on him, "Thank you," she moaned into his lips as she continued to move her hand along his shaft.

"No, no," He moaned, "Thank…ahhhh," _Jesus! The things she could do with her hand,_ "Thank you," He said as thrust himself in her hand.

"You're so fucking hard," She moaned kissing his neck, sliding her tongue around his flesh wanting to memorize the taste of him forever.

"Oye," Elliot groaned as Olivia's hand continued its ministrations. He looked at her in the eyes, and was still memorized that she was doing this, "I'm not dreaming am I?" He had to ask because he had to know.

"If you are, I don't ever want to wake up," She said as she tugged on him harder and faster.

"Liv," He groaned, "Not…uh fuck," he moaned as she ran her hand along his sac, "Going to cum," He warned.

Olivia motioned for him to cum on her stomach, and she ran her hand up and down his length until he could no longer hold still and his body jerked and he released himself on her. Elliot reached across her and grabbed a stack of tissues to clean up his mess.

She kissed him hard on the mouth, "Well, we've never done that before," she teased into his ear.

"Well get used to it, there is going to be a lot more it," He said kissing her back.

"I can't believe we are actually doing this," She said as she pressed her head to his chest, "I mean, no one is going to believe this!"

Elliot laughed, "I know, right? Who would have ever thought that we," He motioned with his finger between their naked bodies, "you and me, would ever be doing _this_?"

And the two laughed hysterically at the mere idea.


	10. Chapter 10

**a/n: This is a short chapter for me, sorry about that. My muse seems to think she is on vacation with the Holidays and all. Doesn't she know by now that she doesn't get vacation time???? **

**I asked Santa for the rights to EO...he laughed in my face.**

CHAPTER 10

"This changes everything, you know that right?" Olivia asked Elliot. She was wrapped up tight in his arms and she couldn't help but feel safe.

"Change is good." Elliot said squeezing her gently, "I like change." He said kissing her along the back of her neck, "I could get used to change."

Olivia turned around so she could see his beautiful face, "You're the best thing that ever happened to me." She said and placed her lips to his, sucking in every inch of him she could.

"I'm the luckiest guy in the world." He said placing his lips back down on hers, this time with more passion. His arms ran up and down her back and he pressed her body closer to his.

"We are going to have a lot of explaining to do when we get back. I mean if…if--" She said starting to get flustered.

"Olivia, relax." Elliot said placing a kiss on her lips, "We're taking this slow, remember? No need to worry ourselves about how we're going to tell the Captain--"

"He's going to split us up," She said unable to stop herself.

Elliot nodded and stared into her eyes trying to figure out how she felt about that. Sensing she was not keen on the idea and neither was he, "If he knows," he added.

Olivia looked up at him, "Yeah,_ If_ he knows." Olivia grinned mischievously and placed a lingering kiss on his mouth. God, she loved the taste of him. She had spent years fantasying about the way he might taste, but it was nothing, nothing compared to how wonderful he actually tasted.

She felt him shift his body weight and climb on top of her like he did before. Only her body immediately flinched and closed up.

"Liv? What is it? Are you okay? Too fast?" He asked nervously, afraid that he did something wrong.

"Huh?" She asked dazed, "I uh…" She didn't understand what just happened. Why did she get this awful feeling in her gut? "Just my leg…moved it the wrong way," she lied.

"Oh," He said disappointedly, you hungry?" He asked rubbing her shoulders.

"Starving." She said with a smile.

EOEOEOEOEO

"Well, I don't know about you; but that was probably the best morning I've ever had," Elliot whispered into Olivia's ear as he cleared the plates from the island in the kitchen.

Olivia blushed, "Yeah, it was nice." She said with a smile. She looked down at her leg that was propped up on the stool next to her. She didn't want to say anything in front of Elliot, but it was hurting the hell out of her. She was waiting for him to take a shower so she could pop a pain pill.

Elliot smiled at her and walked over to the cabinet, opened her pill bottle, and placed it beside her with a glass of water, "I know it's hurting you Olivia. You don't have to be so strong." He said running his hand through her curly locks.

"I forget how well you know me sometimes," She said with a smile and took the pill.

Elliot winked, "I'm going to grab a shower. Want some help to the couch?"

Olivia smiled at him, "Would love some."

Elliot scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the couch. He placed her down gently and placed a lingering kiss on her forehead, "I think you just wanted me to touch you." He said in a cocky tone.

Olivia smiled, "You know it."

He let out a throaty laugh and placed his lips firmly on hers, savoring every moment. She moaned into his mouth and cupped his jaw. He pushed his tongue through her lips and meshed it with hers. Feeling his insides burn in pleasure he pulled back before his body really began to react, "I better get going." He said placing one more small kiss on her lips.

Olivia closed her eyes and tried to take a nap. Her mind wasn't so cooperating though. Thoughts of Simon ran through her head. She still couldn't believe that he was really gone. She also couldn't deal with the guilt that she was part of the cause that killed him. She shifted on the couch and ran her hand along her forehead, touching the wound that was just finally starting to heal.

She tried to remember what happened in that house; but she could only remember these still shot frames. She saw White's mother sitting in her rocking chair, fear and terror evident in her eyes. She tried to focus on this hoping to remember _something..._

Her body shivered immediately, and she sat up right on the couch. Her eyes opened wide, and her pupils dilated. She had a small vision of White, on top of her, ripping off her shirt, and his hands were moving up her thigh…

_No no no!_

Her hands covered her mouth; she no longer wanted to remember. She thought it best that she store these images out of her brain, forever; however the image replayed over and over, _he was on top of her_. She instantly felt nauseous.

She quickly got up from the couch and hobbled her way to the bathroom making it just in time to the toilet where she heaved every ounce of breakfast she hade just ate.

"Liv?" Elliot said poking his head out of the shower, "Oh my God, are you okay?" He asked turning off the shower, grabbing a towel, wrapping it around him and bending down to her side.

She completely forgot he was in there. Not wanting to share this new piece of information with him, she smiled weakly at him, "Must have been the meds," She said wiping her mouth with a tissue.

Elliot placed his hand on her back and rubbed circles around it, "You know if you didn't like my cooking you could've told me," He joked, and Olivia let out a small laugh, "You okay?"

"Yeah, I feel better. Tired though. Mind helping me up?"

"Yeah sure." He said lifting her off the floor and walking towards the bedroom. He placed her on the bed and couldn't help but notice she was shaking, "Liv, you're trembling." He said almost in disbelief. He looked into her eyes and saw fear, horror even. He sat on the bed rubbed his hand down her cheek, catching a few of her tears.

"Lay with me?"

"Always," He said quickly getting a pair of boxers from his drawer and slipping them on under the towel. He laid down on the bed but wasn't sure what to do next. The fear he saw in her eyes he had only seen in his rape victims, and that scared the living shit out of him. If she had been…if White had…

"Please hold me, Elliot," She whimpered and she immediately felt his warm arms wrap tightly against her waist. Her body relaxed and she drew a deep breath.

Elliot on the other hand, not so much. Rage was pulsing through his veins; he was going to kill White. If he ever saw that sick son of a bitch again he was going to rip off his balls and feed them to him.

He felt her body turn towards him, "Thank you, Elliot." She whispered.

"For what?" He asked as his hands ran under her shirt to rub her back.

She sighed, "Being here for me, taking care of me, giving up your life--"

He cut her off, "I would give up everything for you, Olivia. Do you really not know that by now?"

"Why?" She couldn't help but ask.

"Why would I give up everything for you?" He asked as his hand still rubbed her back.

"Yeah."

"Jesus, Olivia. Do you honestly not know?" He asked as his eyes searched hers. When he knew she still didn't get it he continued, "Liv, I'm in…I…lo…I can't live with out you." He confessed. He couldn't say those three little words because he wasn't sure if she was ready to hear them, not because he wasn't ready to say them, "I can't even breathe with out you. You are my life."

Olivia smiled and playfully hit him in the stomach, "You're just saying that to make me feel better."

"Is it working?"

Olivia looked up into his eyes, and knew that everything he said was true, "Yeah." She placed her lips to his and took in his clean scent, "I could get really used to this." She said with a yawn.

"Me too." He said and placed a kiss on her forehead, she fell asleep with in minutes.

EOEOEOEO

Elliot was abruptly woken by a swift hard kick in the shin, via Olivia's 50 pound cast. He groaned in pain and turned to her. Only when he saw her face all his pain subsided, and his heart sunk deep into chest. She had another nightmare, not sure if she awake yet he went to reach out to her, only to have his hand swatted away by hers.

She had that look again. That terrified, I'm so scared, look. The one he saw on all his victims, "Liv?" He asked softly. She didn't even acknowledge it. She sat back against the headboard of the bed and pulled her good leg up to her chin.

She placed her chin on her knee and rocked back and forth, "no, no, no" she was saying in a sing song fashion.

_What the fuck did he do to you, Olivia?_ Elliot wondered, although he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

It had been two days and Olivia was still not talking, about anything. She asked him to hold her, and told him she was sorry, and that was the extent of it. What he wanted more than anything was to help her, but he didn't know how. He knew how to handle rape victims, he dealt with them everyday; but when it came to Olivia being one, he was clueless.

She was sleeping during the day, and crying most of the night. When she was sleeping she was constantly tossing and turning mumbling things that scared the hell out of him. She was barely eating, and she was also not taking her pain medication. This worried him because he could actually see how much pain she was in. It was as if she wanted to be in that pain, like she needed it just to know she was alive.

By day four of this he was ready to call the Captain. He needed help on this one. Maybe Casey would be a better choice. Maybe she would talk to Casey woman to woman. He ran his hands through his short hair trying to figure out what he was going to do. He just kept praying that they were going to get the call from Porter saying they had White and they could go home.

EOEOEOEOEO

She knows she is worrying him, she knows this, yet she can't stop it. It's killing her watching him knowing that he felt powerless, especially when she knows she is the pain for his grief. If only she could get a Goddamn grip and talk to him about it maybe it wouldn't be so bad. She's afraid that he is going to regret coming here with her. She keeps waiting for him to tell her that he is leaving.

She rolled over on the bed and weighed out her options. If only she could just remember! God why couldn't she remember? What if she was worrying for nothing? What if nothing even happened and she was acting like a baby? She could feel White's lips on her neck though…and she could smell his disgusting, horrendous breath like he was next to her. She shuddered just thinking about it.

Everyday she remembers a tiny bit more, but nothing that says, 'yes Olivia he did rape you'. The latest memory was his mouth on her breast, followed by her scream when she realized he had sliced through her skin and was licking the blood that poured out. He played with the other breast while he sucked the blood out of the other one. _What a sick fuck!_

She turned over again her thoughts moving on to Simon. She missed him. She wanted to know if he screamed when he died. Did he know it was her fault that White went after him? Was it slow? Did he torture him? She thought about calling Melinda and asking her about the autopsy report but she wasn't going to put Elliot's life in danger.

She shuttered from the cold air that hit her skin when she got out of the warm bed. She pulled on one of Elliot's sweatshirts that was lying on across a chair and walked out to the living room, "Hey," She said softly when she spotted him sitting on the couch.

His eye's lit up when he saw her, "Hey," She sat down next to him on the couch and cuddled herself to him. He placed his arm around her and pulled her even closer, "Did you sleep ok?"

Olivia sighed and intertwined her hand with his, "No," she whispered, not bothering to lie to him. She felt him kiss her head, "I'm sorry I'm such a mess, you should just get as far away from me as--"

"Olivia, quit apologizing. This isn't your fault. You are not a mess; you are going through a hard time right now. Don't you know that there isn't anything you could do that would make me turn away from you? I'm here for you, Liv. Every step of the way." He raised their joined hands and kissed hers softly, "There is no other place I would rather be."

EOEOEOEOEOEO

"There's a Sabres game on ESPN at 7:30, care to watch it with me?" He asked as they sat at the dinning room table eating dinner. He smiled at her because she was actually eating, and talking. It was the best he had seen her in the past few days and he was relieved.

"I would love too," She said smiling at him taking another bite of her grill cheese, "Is there beer in the fridge? We gotta have beer while watching the game." She said with a wink.

He wishes they were back in New York. Olivia had the hockey package and got all the hockey games. When they actually weren't working they would grab some brews and watch them at her apartment. It was a nice way to relax after a tough case, "Yup. I saw a couple of cases in the basement. Hope Papa Novak doesn't mind." He said with a smile and Olivia laughed.

"Thank you for being so wonderful, Elliot. I'm sorry I have been distant these past few days and shutting you out, that wasn't my intention."

Elliot got up from his chair and stood behind Olivia's rubbing her shoulders, "That sounded like another apology Liv," He joked, "You know you can tell me anything, right? I will never judge you, or think less of you. You know that right?"

She tilted her head to the side and felt his lips graze the back of her neck. She lifted her hand and placed it on top of his, "Yes, Elliot. I know I can tell you anything. Just give me some time, okay?"

"All the time in the world, Liv. All the time in the world."

EOEOEOEOEOEO

"SCOOOOOOOOOORE!" The Sabres announcer Rick Jeanneret shouted as Paul Gaustad scored the tie breaking goal. They were snuggling on the couch drinking beer and for awhile Olivia had forgotten about all the stress she was dealing with.

Olivia and Elliot both cheered and Elliot was happy to see a genuine smile on her face, "That's my boy!" She yelped. It was no secret that Olivia had the biggest crush on number 28. She had an autograph photo of him that sat on her desk.

Elliot wrapped his arms around her, "I thought I was your boy?" He teased as he placed a kiss on her cheek, only she turned her head so that his lips landed smack dab on her lips. She opened her mouth to him and kissed him firmly.

He missed her lips on his. They hadn't kissed in four days and Elliot was beginning to doubt their new found relationship. However that doubt faded as her lips trailed over his and took complete control over his mouth. Her hands reached up and cupped his face while his danced through her hair.

Hearing her moan into his mouth Elliot gently leaned against her and caused them to fall backwards on the couch. Once Olivia realized that Elliot was on top of her, her heart began to race. When she felt his hand mound her breast she began to panic. Images of White came flooding into her head and she couldn't turn them off. She kept telling herself that it was just Elliot, but it wasn't working.

Her eyes opened widely, fear prominent in them. She heard her self telling Elliot to get off of her in a voice that was not hers. Elliot quickly jumped off of her, "Oh my god are you ok? I'm so sorry Olivia. I shouldn't have done that."

Olivia just looked at him and cried. She pulled herself into his lap and placed her head on his shoulder. Elliot didn't know what to make of this. He obviously did something to freak her out, but at least she knows he wasn't trying to hurt her, he thought while rubbed her back sympathetically.

They stayed like that for awhile before Elliot decided to press her into talking to him, "Olivia, please talk to me. Tell me what is going on in that beautiful head of yours." He said kissing her forehead.

Olivia nodded, "You're going to think I'm so stupid--" She began but Elliot cut her off.

"You are not stupid, Olivia."

"It's just…I don't remember much, and what I do remember I don't like," She said tears making their way down her face, "I remember him being on top of me…touching me…kissing me," _Dead, fucking dead,_ was all Elliot could think, "And I remember him cutting open my chest and licking the blood with this sick, twisted grin on his face. God! It makes me feel so disgusting, Elliot." She choked out, sobbing into his chest.

Elliot squeezed her gently, "Olivia I'm so, so, so sorry." He said as he rocked her in his arms, "You are being so brave."

"What if he…what if…" She couldn't even say the words she just clung to Elliot's shirt and cried. His mind was going to explode. He was going to kill White, his mind plotted out every single way he could possibly torture him, not one of them doing him justice. He was going to go Medieval on his ass when he got a hold of him. He could not wait to get his hands on him!

"Its okay, Liv. I'm here. I'm right here." He said in a soothing voice. Not letting his rage show, as he was trying to calm Olivia down.

EOEOEOEOEO

"We interviewed his prison mates, got nothing." Munch said as he threw a thick file down on his desk.

Cragen sighed, they were running out of leads and it was taking a toll on the whole squad. He took a seat at Elliot's desk trying to figure out what to do next, when he heard Porter walk in, and "Tell me you got some good news, Dean."

"Maybe," Dean said holding out a document that Cragen quickly scanned over, Living Will of Roberta White, "Whites mother had a summer home in California. It has been vacant for over 15 years. I got a team on it now."

"Excellent." Cragen said, "So tell me how are they?"

"They're doing okay." Dean said taking a seat at Olivia's desk.

"And Olivia? Did you talk to her?" Don asked wondering when Dean and he became women.

"Yeah we talked…" Dean said with a smile.

"And!?"

"And we'll see..." Dean said and hoped that Olivia would take him back.

"You're killing me, Porter." Cragen said and headed towards his office.

Dean looked at his watch, "Alright guys, I must get going. I'll let you know as soon as we hear anything."

Munch and Fin nodded and said goodbye. When he was gone Munch looked at Fin, "Porter thinks he has a second chance with, Liv?" He asked, trying not to laugh.

Fin smiled, "I'm surprised he had _first_ time with Liv." Fin joked and both of them laughed.

"Munch! Fin!" Don called as he tore out of his office like a bat out of hell, "WE GOT SOMETHING!"

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia fell asleep on the couch that night and Elliot lifted her up gently and brought her to their room. He changed into his pj's and climbed into bed next to her careful not to wake her; however he felt her stir and turn around, "How'd I get here?" She asked half dazed.

"I carried you," He said with his famous grin.

"You're too good to me, Elliot." She said and kissed him on the mouth. She only meant to place a soft kiss on his mouth but her insides melted at the taste of him. He tasted so wonderfully sweet, and his smell was something she wished she could bottle. She pressed her lips down firmly against his and slid her tongue into his mouth. She knew that she was going to have to be the one to make all the moves after her mental breakdown earlier. She moved her hands to his waist and deepened the kiss.

All Elliot could think was, 'not on top of her, no matter what you do---do not get on top of her' He let Olivia do all the work as he was scared of doing something wrong, or triggering another memory.

When she rocked her body next to his, he felt himself begin to grow hard and he pulled away immediately, "Liv, we should stop…" He said in a warning tone.

Feeling his length against her stomach she knew that they should stop too, because she was not ready, not yet. The last thing she wanted was to jump into something she wasn't ready for and ruining it before it ever began, especially when she thought that this could be _the one._

"I'm sorry, Elliot. I didn't mean too--"

He pressed his finger to her lips, "Seriously, Olivia. If you say you are sorry one more time," He joked and pressed his lips softly to hers, "There is no pressure. We are taking this slow anyway remember?" he said and wrapped his arms warmly around her soft stomach.

Olivia smiled, how could you not fall completely in love with this man? She thought before she drifted off into what Elliot hoped would be a peaceful night's rest.


	12. Chapter 12

**a/n: I just wanted to thank each and everyone of you who are still reading this, and many many thanks to all of you who take the time to review it, it really means a lot. Sometimes i forget to thank you guys, but i'm very grateful to you!**

**...and one more thing---if Marish doesn't get the Emmy this year---- well i will be one pissed off lady; because i think this could be her best season ever.**

CHAPTER 12

"We got blood!" Porter heard one of the crime scene people call out. He quickly ran to where the voice was coming from, "Looks like he tried to clean it up, but he missed a spot." The guy said as he showed Porter the smudge of blood that was on the corner of the wall, "Give me a minute to spray this down with some luminol, and then we'll take a look with the lights out. My guess, this place is covered in blood."

"Agent Porter," A uniform officer came over to him, "He's gone and from the looks of things, he's not coming back."

"F," Porter spat, "Okay, well I want every single millimeter of this place inspected with a fine tooth comb, got it?"

"Got it," the officer said and turned to walk away.

Porter took out his cell punched a few keys on the keypad, sighed and put the phone to his ear, "Yeah, he's gone, Don."

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"Breakfast in bed again?" Olivia said wide eyed when she saw Elliot walk in the bedroom with a breakfast tray. He placed it on the table beside the bed and climbed up.

"Nothing but the best for you," He said with a smile and placed a kiss on her forehead, "Besides you really need be resting your leg."

"Shit, well if I knew all it took was a bum leg to get you to make me breakfast in bed, I would have done it a long time ago," she said with a wink. She grabbed his shirt with her fist and pressed her lips firmly to his, "So, you make Munch breakfast in bed when he broke his leg?" She said and let out a laugh.

"You want to make this your last breakfast in bed?" Elliot smirked.

"And yet you didn't deny it. Should I be worried?" Olivia said with sly smile. Elliot leaned over and cupped Olivia's jaw and took her mouth into his sucking all the air out of her lungs, "Guess not." She said as she tried to catch her breath. The tingling sensation she felt run through her body was intoxicating. She pulled Elliot to her again, "Do that again," She whispered.

Elliot raised a brow, "Yeah?" He asked.

"Yeah," She said with a seductive smile and waited for Elliot to meet her request.

He was a little apprehensive at first, he knew that with a kiss like that it was definitely going to lead to something more, at least for him. He knew it was wrong to get them all hot and bothered when they clearly weren't ready to go where it was leading too.

"Elliot?" She said breaking him out of his trance, "Kiss me already!"

With no time to weigh the options he placed his lips back on hers. He let her tongue slip through his mouth first, making sure she was in control. He ran his hands through the back of her hair and she purred as their tongues meshed. He had to calm himself down, the pressure that was building up in his groin was beginning to feel very uncomfortable with the weight of Olivia's body that was now beneath him…_what the hell? How did that happen?_

"Olivia…" Elliot said worriedly and pulled back.

She placed her finger to his lips, "Shhhhhh…" She whispered. She knew what he was thinking, she knew why he was pulling back, and she wanted nothing to do with it. For the first time she was not thinking of White when they were kissing; now however he had entered her brain again, ruining yet another opportunity to feel normal.

She sighed and he rolled off of her, "I'm sorry…" He whispered and pulled a piece of hair that was in her eyes behind her ear, "I just know that…"

"Whatever," she sighed as she held back the tears that were threatening to spill.

"Olivia," He said worried that she wouldn't look him in the eyes.

"No, just forget it." She said and rubbed her eyebrow with her knuckle, "I think I just want to be a lone for a little bit," She choked out.

He looked at her in bewilderment, "I…Liv…please just talk to me."

But how could she? How could she explain to him this feeling that she didn't even recognize herself? Her chest felt heavy and she felt faint even though she lying down, "I…I don't know how…" She confessed.

Elliot let out a long breath, pleased that she hadn't asked him to leave again, "Just tell me what you're feeling," He said as he played with her hair.

"That's just it, Elliot!" She said in frustration, "One minute I'm fine and I want to do things to you," the moment those words left her mouth she felt the blush rush up to her cheeks and she choked on her words.

"And the next you're…thinking of the attack..." Elliot continued. He knew what she was thinking, it was the same thing he had heard from survivors. It was classic, and Liv should know that it is normal reaction.

"Yeah…but," She bit her lip and tried to think of how to word this, "What if I'm acting a like baby? I mean there is no proof that I was…raped. I mean for all I know I wasn't. And here I am acting like a victim when I might not even be one!" That did it, the tears fell and she had no control over it.

Elliot scooped her into his arms and rubbed her shoulders gently, "Olivia," He said in calming voice, "I hate to be the one to bring this to your attention; but even if he didn't actually…rape you, he still…roughed you up a bit."

She took a deep breath, "I just feel like I'm over reacting for nothing."

Elliot squeezed Olivia tight, "You're not over reacting, Liv. He had you," He shook his head trying to get the images of White out of his head, "He cut you, broke your ankle, cut your head! For fucks sake he even put a bullet through his mothers head!" He couldn't control himself, he had been holding a lot of things back for her, but he slipped, "Jesus Olivia, we know what he is capable of." There was a long silence before he spoke again, "Do you know how scared I was?" he asked almost inaudible.

"About as scared as I was when I thought I was never going to see you again?" She said intertwining her fingers with his.

"Scared doesn't even begin to describe it, Liv." He said thinking back to that day. His heart pounded in his chest just thinking about it.

"I'm sorry I went after him, I'm sorry I got us into this fucking mess in the first place," She said as she felt her temper begin to rise as well.

"Why'd you do it, Olivia?" He asked as his eyes searched hers for an answer.

"Because!" She said moving away from him, "Do you know what it was like? He was going to kill you Elliot! Don't you get that? He was going to kill you! Because of me! How could I be responsible for that? He killed Simon, Elliot! But if he got you too---Oh my God…I just…I couldn't," She was sobbing now and on the verge of hyperventilating, "I would have died if I lost you," She said just above a whisper, "My God Elliot what would I have done if he killed you?" She looked into his dark blue eyes wanting so much to tell him that she has loved him since the first time she looked into them, "That's why I did it." She said taking a deep breath. Relief coming over her as she felt a like a ton of bricks had been lifted off of her chest.

She looked at him and searched his eyes; the feeling of losing him came flooding back to her. The need to touch him, hold him, the need to just feel him became overwhelming and she found her self rubbing her hands all over his body, her lips hot and almost salivating to get them pressed onto his. She pressed down on his lips with full force, wasting no as time she pushed through his lips and pursued his tongue with her own.

She could taste her own salty tears as they made their way down her cheeks and into their mouths. She ran her hands up his chest and over his shoulders, it started as nothing sexual, just the need to feel him, know that he was there and that White didn't get to him;

_BUT…_

This was Elliot Stabler we were talking about here and his hands were wondering all over her. Her clothes seemed too tight, to warm, to controlling and she felt this overpowering need to take them off. White be damned, she wasn't going let him ruin this moment with Elliot. She had waited 9 years for this! 9 agonizing, frustrating, heart wrenching, years. No, she wasn't going to let him ruin this, anything but _this_.

She crossed her arms at her chest and pulled off her shirt shocking Elliot with her actions. He tried to look her in the eyes but the view was distracting. Her breasts were perfectly plump, bubbly, and bouncy and they needed to free themselves from the tight containment of that bra, he thought as he moaned into her mouth.

Her hands griped his shirt and she demanded that it be taken off immediately, which of course he complied. Her hand ran up and down his bare chest and she placed her mouth on his neck sucking gently. She purred softly and he thought he was going to die right then and there.

Something told him to just go with it and not to stop her, not that he wanted to stop her…but you know. The sensation of her lips on his skin was contagious and she wanted to feel his lips _all_ over her, "Don't stop, just don't fucking stop." She demanded.

Elliot looked up at her and smiled, placing kisses down her chest. His hands reached behind her back and somehow managed to unclasp the contraption that was keeping his lips from her luscious breasts. He discarded her bra to the floor and cupped his hands on her breasts. He nearly wet himself when he heard her moan something that sounded like his name.

Then suddenly she froze, and he froze, and panic struck both of them this time...


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

"Did you hear that?" She asked as she gripped tightly on Elliot's bulging biceps.

Elliot looked at her, "I think it's just the door," He said as his panicked face was replaced with a smile. He placed a kiss on her forehead, although he was a little nervous about who was at the door. He quickly got up and put his shirt back on, making sure it hung loosely over what Olivia had created for him.

"I'll come too," she said, "Throw me my shirt. Who do you think it is?"

"I have no idea." He said handing her the shirt wishing so desperately that she wasn't putting it on. He must've been staring too long at her because he heard Olivia giggle and then felt her warm lips cover his. She stole his air from his lungs and that was completely okay with him. The sensation of the heated kiss was too much for both of them, so she released his lips, "Come on big boy," She said cupping his length and giving him a wink.

He couldn't help but yelp at the touch of her hand on him, whether it was clothed or not. "Okay but whoever it is they better be make it short," He said placing a quick kiss on her lips. He handed her the crutches and they made their way to the door. Elliot looked through the peephole and groaned as he opened the door, "Porter," He said with a head nod.

"Hello, Elliot." Porter said walking passed Elliot into the house. "Hey, Liv." He said placing a kiss on her cheek, "How's the leg?"

"It's umm…better I guess." She said nervously. She couldn't help but feel completely uncomfortable with the situation. Her chest began to pound nervously, and her palms felt clammy. She ran her hand through her hair in hopes that it didn't look all frazzled, or what Dean used to call, 'sex hair'.

"What are you here for?" Elliot asked bluntly. He was none to pleased to see him and he made no attempt to hide it.

"We gotta move you."

"What?" Elliot and Olivia both said in unison. Their eyes met briefly and tiny smiles formed at the way their brains worked like one. The encounter did not go unnoticed by Porter.

He stood there for a minute and gave the pair a once look over, "We think White be headed this way. There's not much time, get your stuff together. I have a car waiting." He said trying to hurry them along.

Elliot looked at Olivia and his eyes soothed her growing fears. She wondered how he could do that with just one look, "Okay we should get packing." She said and they headed off to the bedroom to pack their stuff.

They noticed their mistake when they both got into their bedroom.

Dean's heart sunk into his chest. Why would both their stuff be in the same bedroom? Why?! His fists clenched together and his face became red with the most intense anger he had ever felt.

_They were not sharing a room. No, no…certainly not. He must just be helping her, yes that is it. He's helping her pack. _

EOEOEOEOEO

"Oh my God, Elliot!" She whispered erratically. "He's going to know." She ran her hand through her hair, "I'm a terrible, terrible, terrible person."

"What? Olivia, no you are not. You are a wonderful person." He said walking closer to her filling the gap that was between them.

"I just I mean I broke his heart Elliot and…and…" But she had lost all train of thought because she felt Elliot's soothing arms wrapped protectively around her yet again. And God help her she loved it. She tilted her head up to his and captured her lips with his.

Elliot pressed her body as close to his as he could and for a moment it was as if Dean had never arrived and they were back in the bed about to do something that he had waiting the better part of 9 years to do. God damn Dean! He cursed and pulled away from Olivia, "We should get packing before he comes in here." He said placing a chaste kiss on her lips.

Dean's absurd thoughts were getting the better of him and he tip toed his way down the hall and towards the bedroom. He stood by the wall trying to sneak a peak through the door that was just so very slightly open.

"Sit down." Elliot demanded.

"What?"

"I'm not letting you pack, sit."

Dean felt his phone go off in his pocket, satisfied that Elliot was just helping him pack he returned to the kitchen.

"I can pack my own stuff, Stabler. Besides I know you just want to raid my panty drawer." She said and hobbled her way to the dresser.

Elliot couldn't help but laugh, "I just want to help. Let me help you." He said placing his hands around her waist and kissing the back of her neck seductively.

"If that's your way of helping we are never going to get out of here," Olivia said turning around and placing her lips to his and letting out a small moan in the process, "When we get to where ever the fuck we are going, we are going to pick up exactly where we left off," She said rubbing her hands through his short hair.

"That is the sexiest thing I have ever heard." He said as he opened her panty drawer.

EOEOEOEOEO

"Canada? Are you kidding me? We're going to Canada?" Elliot said as he sat in the back seat of the Feds van.

Dean and Agent Bernard (who was driving) sat up front while he and Liv sat in the back. She had her legs propped up on Elliot's lap because it was absolutely killing her broken one being cramped. Even though Dean insisted that she take the front seat so she could have more leg room, she turned him down because she would rather have a cramped leg sitting next to Elliot then no Elliot and leg room.

When he suggested that she prop her leg on his lap she couldn't help but smile. The man was a genius, "It's pretty cold back here, you got a blanket?" He asked and Dean pointed to the way back of the van.

He placed the blanket over Olivia's legs and his lap and when they were securely hidden by the blanket he ran his hand along the length of her good leg. She looked at him and smiled. What had she done to deserve such a wonderful man?

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia started to shift uncomfortably and Elliot noticed immediately, "You okay?" He asked sincerely.

"Uh…yeah, fine. It's just," She started to say as she rubbed her hand along her neck, "Just my neck." She said.

"So switch positions." He said with a grin, "Why don't you use my lap as a pillow instead of a foot rest?"

She looked at him like he was nuts and glanced at Porter…who was sleeping in the front seat in front of her, "How?"

Elliot carefully placed her legs on the floor, reached his hands to the back seat and pulled out a pillow, "Here." He said putting the pillow on his lap and indicated that her head should go there.

"But…" She said, motioning to Porter.

"It's fine. He's sleeping anyway," He said patting the pillow on his lap.

She reluctantly switched her body so that her head was now resting on Elliot's lap and her legs were on the bench of the van, "This is much better."

"I agree." He said and checked to make sure Porter was still sleeping. He bent down and placed a brief kiss on her lips, "Much better." He said tangling his hands in her hair.

EOEOEOEOEO

When Dean woke up several hours later the first thing he did was look back at Elliot. What he saw made his insides crumble. She had her head in his lap and was actually sleeping soundly. They were together for four months and she had never looked at peaceful as she did now. He looked at Elliot who had also fallen asleep. His eyes moved downward following his hands that were tangled up in Olivia's hair.

Goddamn him.

Agent Bernard noticed the change in Porter's face and tried to pull him out of his enraged trance, "Hey man, relax."

"Huh?" Porter said turning his head to face the road.

"He was just comforting her, that's all. She got scared."

"Uh huh." Dean said not believing a word of it. After all he couldn't see Olivia's head in _his _lap, or _his_ hands in _her _hair! Anger was going to get the best of him if he didn't calm down. He was beginning to feel like a fool.

EOEOEOEOEO

When Elliot woke up Olivia was snuggled up to his chest. He looked down at her beautiful face and wanted nothing more than to plant his lips to hers. He could see that Dean was now awake though so he knew that it was out of the question.

He felt for the poor guy, he really did. I mean he had Olivia only to lose her. Elliot could understand what that was like. He once lost Olivia as well…to Dean actually which he had to laugh at the irony. When Olivia was in Oregon it had destroyed him, completely and she wasn't even his…or was she? I guess if he really looked closely at their relationship she had always been his and he hers.

"El?" He heard her soft voice.

"Yeah, Livia?" He asked looking down as her eyes fluttered open.

"Where are we?"

"Ahhh…I'm not sure…Dean, where the hell are we?"

"We just got to Colorado." He said turning his head to look at the two. His insides jerked when he witnessed how close the two were. He knew that they were close, he had always known that, but Olivia had always insisted that it was just platonic; however their eyes…their eyes told a different story.

Olivia ran her hands over her belly, "You're starving, aren't you?" Elliot asked and Olivia let out a hearty laugh and slapped him playfully in the stomach. "Hey Bernard, you mind if we stop somewhere and get something to eat?"

Agent Bernard looked over at Dean to see if he would allow it, "Yeah, that's fine." He said.

EOEOEOEOEO

"Where are my crutches?" Olivia asked as the men were already out of the van stretching their sore muscles.

"Ah man," She heard Dean say, "Buried beneath all of our stuff."

"No problem," Elliot said and walked towards Olivia. He turned his back to her and crouched down, "Climb on."

"Elliot! No." She said but couldn't help but smile.

"Come on! Get on!" He said turning his head and flashing her those eyes she couldn't refuse.

"Okay fine, but I swear to God if you drop me I will---"

"I'm not going to drop you, Liv." He said and she climbed on offering his piggyback ride.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

"We should get a move on," Dean said when he finished his burger. With out another word he and Agent Bernard got up and headed out.

"I think he knows about us," Elliot said as he watched Olivia's reaction to Dean walking out.

"Nooooo…you do?" She asked surprised.

"Yeah…I do. I think he's jealous."

Olivia let out a hearty laugh, "What else is knew."

"Huh?" Elliot asked in confusion.

"Please, Dean has been jealous of you since day one."

Elliot couldn't help but smirk, "Oh really?"

Olivia grinned, "Yeah, he thought we were having an affair."

"Really? How come you never told me?"

"You never asked," She grinned, "He was always going on about how we look at each other--"

Elliot couldn't resist, "And exactly how is that?"

"Like love sick teenagers," Olivia said mocking Dean's tone, "His words, not mine. You don't know how long it took to convince him that we were not in love. I remember screaming at him one time because he thought he saw you checking me out and I was like 'he doesn't even know I exist!' I mean you and I were barely on speaking terms for Gods sake, and Dean was going on and on about how you were giving me those 'love eyes'. It was so annoying because you hated me then, couldn't even look me in the eye, so I don't know what he thought he saw..."

"He was right," Elliot said softly barely making eye contact with her.

"Huh?"

"He was right. I was in love with you Olivia," The moment the words came out of his mouth he cursed himself because that is not how he envisioned saying he loved her for the first time, "I was heartbroken when you were dating him, Liv. It tore my heart out in two, I couldn't stand it…and if you thought that I was avoiding you because I was mad or…whatever you thought wrong, it was because I was so fucking in love with you that I couldn't even---"

"Stop--" Olivia interrupted.

"Huh?" Elliot asked confused. Here he was pouring out his heart and soul and she was telling him to stop?

"Kiss me," She said with a grin.

"What?"

"Hurry, before Dean and Bernard come looking for us." He was still staring at her like she was nuts, "Now Elliot! Kiss me God damn it!"

Elliot shook his head with a grin and quickly got up from his chair and walked over towards Olivia. He bent down slowly and immediately felt her hands grip the back of his neck pulling his head forward sending his lips to come crashing down on hers. It was the most passionate kiss he had ever received and his pants immediately began to tighten. Her tongue instantly invaded his mouth as her hands ran through his short hair. Her tongue ran over his lips and she bit down softly on his bottom lip before she completely removed her lips from his.

"And I was so fucking in love with you too." She whispered into his ear sending chills down his spine, " Come on, we should get going."

Elliot looked up at her with a surprised smile on his face, "Yeah, hop on, gimp." He said bending down so she could get on his back. She buried her head in his neck and couldn't help but place kisses on the back of it, "Yeah, this should be an interesting car ride."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Elliot had tried every technique he had ever learned in his youth to keep his erection from exploding. Olivia's legs were propped onto his lap, again, only this time causing him sincere pain and that devilish grin she kept giving him was not helping. Oh, and the fact that she kept rubbing her good foot along its increasing length was not helping! He shifted underneath the blanket in hopes to get some composure.

"Olivia," He whispered, practically moaned.

She looked at him, her in mock confusion, "What?"

"You know what," He mouthed to her and she couldn't help but giggle.

"Porter can you pull over, I need to go to the bathroom." Bernard said and it was like music to Elliot's ears.

Dean looked at his watch, "Yeah, mind as well get something to eat as well."

At the next rest stop Dean pulled over and the two FBI Agents got out. Olivia, however had a trick up her sleeve, she pretended to be sleeping when they pulled over.

"I'll just give her a few more minutes and then wake her up." Elliot told Dean, wondering how Olivia could have fallen asleep in such a short time and with his manliness ready to saw her cast right off.

"Okay, we'll meet you in there." Porter said staring at Olivia a little bit longer then Elliot would have liked.

When the doors shut Elliot ran his hands over Olivia's good leg and nearly fell out of the seat when he felt her hands come in contact with his jeans, "Ah! So you are awake…" He said running his hands through her dark locks.

"Sneaky, sneaky," She murmured as her hands successfully undid his pants.

"Olivia! What are you doing?" Elliot nearly choked.

"What?" She asked innocently, "We have tinted windows," She said tapping on the glass and proceeding to pull his pants and boxers down.

"Liv, you can't do th---uhhhh…this." He moaned out as he felt her lips on every throbbing member.

She looked up at him, "I want to do this," She said and placed her lips around the tip of his penis, "besides, you've been throbbing here for the past hour or so, I know you want a release," she said with a wink planting her head back in between his thighs.

Her hands rolled his scrotum while her lips ran over his shaft, "Fuck, Liv." He panted and it became harder and harder for his hips to stay still, "What if they come back," He said as his breathing became erratic.

"Be my look out," She said and continued moving her mouth up and down his shaft. She could feel the pre-cum in her mouth and knew that he was going to erupt any minute. She laughed to herself because it was probably the fastest blow job she had ever given.

"Oh my God, you're so good at this, Liv. Fuck," He moaned his hips starting to rock back and forth at the sensation of her lips all over him. Jesus Christ it was his wildest fantasy come true. He couldn't tell you how many times when they were on stake outs when he wished for this very scene to take place, "Ooo, God, Olivia!" He moaned getting louder and louder, "I'm going to fucking cum," He moaned, "Hand me the tissues."

"No," She said looking up at him, "I want to taste you."

Well if that wasn't the most erotic thing he had ever heard in his entire life...

She increased her tempo, her lips going over and over his length until he absolutely could not keep his hips still and began to thrust into her mouth until finally he came full force filling her mouth with a salty warm taste.

"Fuck, Liv. That was amazing; but so dangerous." He said as he pulled her head up to his lips and kissed the hell out of her, "So dangerous."

"Hot and dangerous," She said running her tongue along his bottom lip.

"You're so fucking sexy. You know that right? So fucking sexy," He said still panting from his orgasm.

"Stop embarrassing me! Come on, we better head in there." She said helping him back into his pants.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"We should pick a hotel soon, kind of tired." Porter said rubbing his eyes. It was pitch black outside and they still had another 10 hours of driving left.

"Sounds like a good plan." Agent Bernard said as he checked the GPS system.

"You guys okay back there?" Porter asked turning around to the back seat.

"Yeah, fine." Olivia said with a smile. She was using Elliot's shoulder as a pillow and Dean couldn't help but feel his stomach twist. Olivia looked down at the blanket to make sure it was concealing her and Elliot's conjoined hands. Porter couldn't help but notice the guilty look that was plastered over Olivia's face.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"3 rooms please---"

"2. 2 rooms please." Elliot interrupted Porter as he was trying to book the rooms at the hotel.

"Huh?" Porter asked, wanting nothing than to smack Elliot square in the face.

"I'm not to take my eyes off of her. Cragen's orders." Elliot whispered into Porter's ear. Porter swore to himself because he knew Elliot was right. They couldn't have Olivia staying in her own room. Man how he wished he brought Dana Lewis for the trip instead of Bernard.

"Fine, two rooms, both with _two_ beds," he said through gritted teeth.

The receptionist smiled nervously, "Okay, here you go." She said handing Porter a couple hotel keys and a copy of the receipt.

Porter shifted uncomfortably and reluctantly gave Elliot their set of keys, "here." He said pretty much shoving the keys in Elliot's hand and took off towards the stairs.

Elliot turned toward Olivia who was resting on her crutches, "I think that went well." Elliot said sarcastically, "You ready?" He asked picking up their bags.

"Yeah," She said repositioning herself and hopping her way towards the elevators.

EOEOEOEOEOEOE

Once inside the hotel room Olivia collapsed on the bed. Elliot wasted no time and sat on the bed next to her. He crashed his lips into hers hard and firm, sucking every ounce of air from her lungs. She immediately felt her legs go weak and she pushed him down on the bed in the heat of the moment.

"Sorry," She said finally rolling off of him after several minutes of their deep make out session, "I just have been dying to do that since the last rest stop." She said as they both sat up on the bed and she placed a few more soft quick kisses on his lips.

"Please don't apologize for kissing me, ever." He said running his hands through her silky, soft hair.

"So, you want to help me take a bath?" She asked with a pair of raised eyebrows.

"Seriously, Liv. You're going to be the death me." He said with a low growl as he bent over and placed hot kisses on her neck, biting down just a little bit when he heard her laugh.

"Oh!" She said and quickly got up and went rumbling through her purse.

"What?" Elliot asked confused by her actions and wondering what exactly she was up to.

"I got you a present." She said with a guilty smirk and handed him a something; but crashed her lips onto his before he was able to take a look at it. He ran her hands up along her back and through her hair.

"Open it," she said after breaking her lips away from his.

"What? Oh my God, Liv, what is this???"

"You need to rethink your career choice if you don't know what this is." Olivia said grinning.

"You got me a cell phone, Liv?" He said unable to believe that she would do something so caring.

"Yeah, prepaid---can't be traced." She said quickly added because she saw the look of warning on his face, "Call your kids, El. I know you miss them and I'm positive they miss you." She placed a small kiss on his lips and hobbled her way to the bathroom.

"I love you Olivia Benson." He called out after her.

"Come join me when you're done." She said with a wink and threw off her shirt making Elliot question whether he should call his kids now or later...

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Elliot had just hung up the phone and was about to go help Olivia in the bathroom when he heard a knock on the door. He looked through the peephole and sighed, "Porter," He mumbled when he opened the door.

"Hey, I just wanted to say goodnight. Where's Liv?" He asked looking around the room and not seeing her anywhere.

"Bath." Elliot said, _which is where I want to be so if we can make this quick,_ he thought.

"Oh," Porter said, "I ah, just wanted to let you guys know that were heading out around 7am, so…"

"Okay, sounds good." Elliot said trying to get him to leave, and quick.

"Okay, well if you need anything, we'll be right next door. The rooms conjoin so---"

"Okay, well I'm tired as shit, so…" Elliot said trying hard to end this awkward conversation.

"Oh right. Yeah, me too. Good night, Elliot. Tell Liv I said goodnight too--"

"Hey El! Are you coming or what?!" Came a loud husky voice from the bathroom.

"Ahhhh…" Elliot said nervously rubbing his hand through his hair, "She just needs help getting out."

The look that Porter was giving Elliot was one that he had often given. Mostly Olivia's dates...or any man that just looked at her a certain way for that matter. He had to admit the look Porter was giving him was pretty scary, "Riiight," Porter said.

"Cause of her cast…"

"Yeah right. Whatever…" Porter said under his breath and walked away. Elliot couldn't help but feel bad for the guy. He thought back to the times when his heart would ache over a date Liv had, or having to listen to her on the phone with someone guy. He knew exactly what it felt like to have your heart plummet into the deepest layer of your soul. To you have your dreams crushed right in front of you and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it. Yeah, Elliot knew exactly how Porter was feeling.

"El? You coming?" Olivia called again.

He turned the lock and placed the chain in the slot, "Oh yeah Liv, I'm coming." He said with a smile and walked towards the bathroom.

**a/n: I know this chapter was a little shorter than i normally write, but i didn't want to wait any longer to post the next chapter... especially when my muse is not being so kind to this fic anymore...she better get her act together by the next chap****ter! PS: anyone see those previews for Tuesday's ep? What is Olivia's secret????? ahhhhh! no...don't tell me if you know...i don't know want to know...well i do...but i don't...ok i'm rambling...sorry.**


	15. Chapter 15

**a/n: WOW! Yes, it has been a long time since i have updated. I'm sooo sorry; i've been super busy! And i know this chapter isn't as long as i hoped it to be (probably the shortest one i have written) but i didn't want to keep you guys waiting any longer. xoxo**

CHAPTER 15

_"You tell Stabler the news?" Cragen asked over the phone._

"Ah, no not yet." Dean said as he got out his pj's from his suitcase.

_"Waiting for the last minute?"_

"Have you met Stabler's temper?" Porter quipped.

_Don laughed on the other end of the line, "He'll thank us in the end. Besides, I'm sure he is dying to spend some time with his new baby."_

"What about White though? Are we sure Stabler is going to be safe?"

_"He'll be safe; we have a whole team set up for him and his family. We are pretty sure that White is working alone and that his time is running out. With out getting medical help for his injuries Melinda said that he probably doesn't have much time left. So he's probably more focused on getting to Olivia…"_

"Yeah, that's great news." Porter said sarcastically.

_"Aren't you peachy, today." Don smiled into the phone, "What's the matter? Benson giving you a hard time?"_

Dean sighed and closed his suitcase with a loud thud, "Yeah, something like that."

_"Well maybe you guys can get back on track now that you will be playing husband and wife."_

"Yeah," Dean said a little bit more hopeful, "Maybe we can."

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Elliot walked into the vanilla scented bathroom, "Elliot!" Olivia called to him as soon as she heard the door open.

"What? What is it? Are you okay?" He panicked.

"He didn't rape me! I remembered!" She said as her body wiggled in the water sending soapy suds on to the floor.

"Oh my God." He said leaning down over tub.

"Kiss me! Kiss me now," she demanded as she brought up her hand to his shirt and practically pulled him in the tub with her. Her mouth was red hot burning his lips as she crashed them into his. Her tongue instantly invading his mouth and taking him to a place he had never been to before. Her mouth overpowered him causing him to loose his balance on the now soapy floor.

Before he even realized it, he was in the tub with her. He opened his eyes briefly just to make sure he didn't get her cast wet when he fell. His clothes were now soaked; but he didn't seem to mind, or notice for that matter. Her hands ran through his short hair as her mouth continued to make love to his.

He leaned her head back separating their lips so he could taste her skin. His lips traveled along the length of her neck his lips burning from the taste of her. He ran his hand along her outer thigh and squeezed it gently, "Jesus, you taste so good, Liv."

"You too," she moaned. "Take me to the bed," she moaned softly into his ear.

Elliot let out a groan as he crashed his lips on hers hard, "You have no idea how sexy that sounded, and how long I have waited to hear you say those words." He placed one last hard kiss on her mouth before repositioning himself, so he could scoop her up in his arms and carry her to the bed.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

He rolled himself off the rat infested couch. The pain was so bad, and he needed something quick; anything to dull the pain. He reached for the bottle of Vodka he stole during his last outing. He was getting worse, and he was running out of options and people.

Jargen's agreed to drive him cross country; said he had a Doctor buddy there; however, he never got to see his Doctor friend. He sent Jargen to get him some medicine; on his way back he saw a fleet of cop cars at the local station house. He turned right around and told White they had to move, and fast. Jargen pushed him out of the car somewhere along the thruway. The son of a bitch stole his car. He had to use public transportation to get to the store. Richard White did not take public transportation! Richard White did not have to steal his alcohol! He placed the bottle to his lips again; holding it there until his eyes began to water. Every second that passed he thought about the woman who was making him live his life this way, and every second he thought about how he was going to kill her.

Jergen's was his last hope at tracking her down. He promised he would help him! Now he was left to fend for himself! His body was so full of rage; the only way to calm himself down was envisioning his hands on Olivia Benson.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

"I can't believe we're actually doing this," he said as he looked over her fantastic naked body. "Do you know how beautiful you are?"

Olivia slapped him playfully, "Stop!"

Elliot laughed, "What? You are!" He said running his hands over perfect body. He pressed his lips to hers, along with his body. His erection was pressed up against her stomach, and he wanted so badly to climb on top of her; however, he knew what had happened the last time so he held back. Letting them touch each other while they were both on their sides; therefore, neither one of them actually having control.

He was surprised to feel her move over on top of him; surprised and turned on. He smiled up at her; bringing his hand behind her neck and pulling her forward. Her lips crashed on to his and he could feel her smile through the kiss.

"You sure about this, Liv? I mean I would understand if you didn't want to do this. 'Cause you know we can wait…I'd wait for---"

He didn't get to finish his sentence. She plummeted herself on him, her deep folds burning as she took every inch of him into her. When she was completely successful she looked down at him, "The waiting is over, Detective." She said playfully and began to move up and down on his harder than hard member, causing a groan from Elliot that she had never heard before. She almost came instantly as she bounced around on top of him. She wanted to hear that noise again, and again. She loved the fact that it was her who was doing this to him.

"Oh my God, Liv. You feel so good; so fucking good."

She tried to respond but the words did not come out, her voice was failing her; saying nothing that could pass as words.

"What was that, Liv?" He joked as he pressed his lips to hers as she continued to move over him.

"Fuck," she whispered as the sweat began to build all over her body. Beads fell from in between her breasts, and Elliot wasted no time to lick them up. His lips were on her breasts sucking on each of them like his life depended on it. His hand gripped her hips tightly so he could steady himself.

"I love you, Olivia," he said softly.

"I fucking love you too," she moaned unable to keep a coherent thought in her head; she was stunned that she actually got that out.

"Jesus, Liv. I'm not going to last," he moaned. He was actually surprised that he had held out this long. The moment he saw Olivia in the tub he nearly wet himself. His orgasm came flying at him; his body losing control and fast, "you're on the pill, right?"

Not even thinking about it she moaned, "yes." Because that was her normal response. She had been on the pill since she was 15 years old. So when she automatically said yes; it didn't hit her immediately, "Wait! Fuck!" She yelped when she remembered that it was the one thing Casey had forgotten to pack.

But it was too late. She felt his body escalade to the point of no return, his humping and thrusts signaling the end of his orgasm had already taken place, by the time he got the words, "Huh?" out of his mouth he was already coming, hard into her and her eyes were rolled back so far into her head that she had forgotten what they were just talking about. Her body bounced on top of his riding him harder than she had ever done so before. The minute she felt his release in her, she did the same.

She fell forward onto his chest and tried to regain her composure. It took her about 6 seconds before she realized what had just happen. She quickly sat up and hopped off the bed, pulling Elliot abruptly from her body; the cold air hitting him immediately.

"No, no, no…" she muttered over and over as she ran her hands through her hair. Panicking? Yeah, you could say that.

Elliot felt like he had done something that triggered something from her attack. He quickly got up and went over to her, "Did I hurt you? Oh my God, I'm so sorry--"

"Huh?" She turned to him and saw the fear in his eyes and she quickly relaxed; knowing what he was probably thinking, "Oh…no honey." She said wrapping her body around his, "It's nothing like that…it's just…uh…I…"

Elliot pulled her closer to his body, "What, Liv? Tell me."

"I didn't even think about it. I just answered…I wasn't thinking I guess…I…fuck. I can't believe I forgot," she said more to herself than to Elliot.

"What, Liv? What did you forget?"

She took a deep breath and decided to bite the bullet, "My pills were never packed…"

"Huh?" He said not understanding what she was trying to say.

"Casey never packed my pills."

Finally it dawned on him, "Oh."

"Yeah, 'Oh'…and…I um…am…I'm…fuck this is so bad, Elliot. I'm…"

"Ovulating." He finished for her.

"Yeah."

"Shit," he muttered under his breath, but thought about it for a minute, "Well, there is nothing we can do about it now…besides, what's the worst that can happen? We have a beautiful super Detective baby?"

She couldn't help but laugh at that, "You're wonderful, you know that?" She said kissing him on the lips.

"You make me wonderful." He said kissing her on the forehead, "Come on, lets go back to bed and snuggle; we have a big day tomorrow." He said taking her hand and leading her back to the bed.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Dean Porter wanted to bang on the wall next to him and tell them to 'shut the fuck up!' Each pounding against the wall put a little dagger through his heart. He wasn't an idiot; he knew Olivia and Elliot had the room next door, and he knew exactly what they were doing. But just incase he didn't, they threw in a loud moan or two just for good measure.

He wanted to beat Elliot senseless. Porter had been with Olivia for months and he had never heard that type of moan come from her ever. What exactly was he doing to her? Maybe he was hurting her and he should go check on her…

"Fuck," he moaned and pulled the pillow over his head hoping to drown out some of the noise. The only thought that calmed his boiling blood was that Elliot was going home tomorrow. Oh, how Stabler was going to hit the roof; well paybacks a bitch, he thought.


	16. Chapter 16

**a/n: to all of my wonderful reviewers! I love you guys!**

Chapter 16

"No! Absolutely not!" Elliot roared. His face was so close to Porters that Porter could feel the vibrations of Elliot's tantrum on his face.

"It's out of your hands, Stabler." Porter said a little too smug-like for Olivia's liking, as well as Elliot's.

"I'm not leaving her. You can't protect her like I can." Elliot said taking a step back from Porter and closer to Olivia.

Porter let out a cocky breath, "Oh is that what they are calling it these days?"

And because she knew Elliot so well; she quickly grabbed Elliot's flying fist and stopped it before it went plummeted into Porters face. She dragged him by the same arm and forced them out of the room, well as best she could do with her crutches, "Well be right back," she told the two Agents, giving Porter one of her evil eyes.

When they stepped out into the hallway Elliot was ready to hit the roof, "I can't believe that guy! He thinks he can take better care of you than me? And they were Cragen's orders! What is that about? Why would Cragen do that?" He was so wrapped up in his anger that he didn't notice that Olivia slipped down the wall with tears swelling her eyes. He took a deep breath and sat down beside her; placing his hand in hers, "I just don't want to leave you," he confessed.

Olivia sniffled, "I don't want you to leave either, Elliot…but…you have a newborn son at home. You can't just give that up for me. I wouldn't want that…_you_ don't want that. I couldn't live with myself. The guilt of you not spending time with him is already eating away at me; it has to be eating away at you too." She ran her fingers through her hair, "Look Elliot, I just don't want you to regret not spending time with him…and I don't want you to eventually hate me because of it."

He butted in before she even continue, "Olivia---I would never, ever hate you. Your life is in danger and it's my job to protect you---"

"Anyone can protect me, but not anyone could be your children's father." Game, set, match.

Elliot bowed his head and drew his knees into his chest. The weight of her words actually hitting him, and they hit him hard, "I don't want just anyone protecting you, Olivia. My God, if something ever happened to you---I would never be able to forgive myself." He couldn't help the tears that began to fall from his eyes; he didn't even try to wipe them.

"Yes you will; because I will haunt you every night until you do," she said squeezing his shoulder.

"Don't--" Elliot said warningly, "Don't make jokes about this. This is serious."

Olivia smiled, "I'm sorry," she said leaning her head on his shoulder.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, "I'm going to nail White's ass and bring you home."

"…and then nail me," She said because she couldn't stop herself. "Sorry," She quickly apologized, "Couldn't help myself."

Elliot finally smiled and kissed her forehead, "its okay, and definitely. I'm going to miss you so much. I don't want to leave you, Liv."

She leaned into his shoulder, "I don't want to leave you either."

She was going to say something else when the door opened, "We better get going," Porter said rolling his eyes at the scene in front of him.

Olivia looked up at him, "Yeah okay," She said with a sigh.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

"Alright, Stabler," Porter said as he saw the black caddy coming to pick him up, "time to go."

Elliot looked at Porter and almost growled, "Yeah okay." He looked at Olivia and they all got out of the car. He pulled Olivia into his arms never wanting to let go of her, "I'm going to miss you so much," he whispered. His hands pressed her closer to his body, "I don't know if can walk away from you," he confessed.

Olivia pulled him closer to her, "Just think of the sex we are going to have once I get back," she quipped and turned around in hopes that Porter was not in ear shot.

"Are you trying to kill me?" He said as his hands went up and down her back intimately. She could feel his hot breath lingering on her neck and she had never wanted this man so bad then right here and right now.

"Elliot," she whispered, "Porter is watching us."

"Fuck it," He whispered his lips inches from hers, until he could no longer take it. He pulled her off the ground and crashed his lips so fucking hard onto hers that he was surprised he was till on his feet. He heard the gasp from Porter and his sidekick and he couldn't help but smile into Olivia's lips.

She moaned softly into his mouth and she had to hold her self back from wrapping her legs around his waist and taking him right then and there. She ran her hands through his hair and tried to memorize everything about the way he felt, tasted, and smelled; although she realized that she already had them stoned into the deepest parts of cerebellum.

He set her down on the ground gently, but never broke the kiss, not just yet. He needed more; he needed a lot more. He tried to snake his hand under her shirt, but she stopped him before he could. Yes, he knew it was inappropriate; but goddamn it; he just needed to feel her skin again.

Knowing that they were both going to need more from each other Olivia pulled back in a daze, unsure of where she was for a minute. She smiled at him knowing that he was the one that had that sort of effect on her.

"Here, take this," Elliot said placing a small plastic something into her hand, "Quick, put it in your pocket," he instructed quietly.

It took her a minute to figure out what it was, "The disposal phone I gave you."

"Yeah, call me every chance you get." He pulled her into a hug, "I love you," he whispered into her ear as he placed a piece of hair behind her ear.

"I love you too," she whispered. She turned around only to catch Porters enraged face. Ouch.

"Time to go," Porter said through clenched teeth.

Elliot looked at him, smiled, and then placed another hot kiss on Olivia's mouth before he walked away.

Keeping her tears at bay, Olivia watched as the only man she has ever loved walk away.

EOEOEOEOEO

The ride to where ever they were going was silent. Olivia hadn't spoken a word since Elliot left. All she wanted to do was crawl into a bed and sleep forever. Porter kept looking back at her like he wanted to say something, but he chickened out every time, which she was thankful for. She did not feel like talking to anybody, especially him. So she pretended to sleep.

"So once we get there, it will just be you two." Agent Bernard was telling Porter.

"Yeah, I know." Porter said as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Are you going to be okay with that?"

"I'll be fine." Porter replied tight lipped.

"Well you've been pouting like a child since we left--"

"I'm fine." Porter said again.

"So she's doing her partner, big deal. Why do you care so much anyway?" Bernard pressed.

"Because!" Porter shouted unable to control himself anymore, "I'm in love with her okay! I. love. Her! And…she's fooling around with…him! And for God knows how long! For all I know they were screwing around when we were dating."

"Whoa, wait. You and her dated?"

"Yeah."

"And you let her go?"

"I didn't let her go. She broke up with me. Probably because she was screwing that hot head partner of hers!" He took a deep breath and turned to make sure Olivia was still sleeping, "I should have listened to that Munch character."

"Why's that?" Bernard asked him.

"Because he told me I didn't have a shot with her. Told me that know no one stood a chance against Elliot Stabler. Jesus---when _she_ first told me about her partner her eyes got this glossy, weird, love struck look about them." He tilted his head up remembering the memory, "We're best friends," he said repeating her words.

In the backseat Olivia choked back a sigh; she missed Elliot terribly already. She remembered how much she missed him when she was in Oregon. It was like torture being away from him for so long. But that was before they even kissed each other, before they had ever been together. This was going to be much, much worse.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

"Daddy!" Elliot heard his girl's voices when he walked into the house. It was quickly followed by the stampede of feet that was getting louder and louder. The next thing he knew all four of his older children were wrapped tightly into his arms.

He kissed all of their heads, "I missed you guys so much." He felt his heart felt warmer; however, it still longed to be with Olivia.

"You okay, Daddy?" Maureen asked and they all stood back and studied his face.

"Was it a long flight?" Kathleen asked.

Elliot put on one of his best fake smiles, "Yeah, long flight…just a little tired. Where's your mom and the baby?"

"Upstairs, she was just putting Eli down for his nap." Kathleen said.

"We made some cookies, want some?" Maureen asked as they made their way over towards the kitchen.

"Would love some; just let me see the baby first." He said and lugged his body upstairs slowly.

"He is really upset," Maureen told Kathleen.

"I know. It's really sad seeing him like this. He looks so…so…"

"Sad." Maureen spoke for her.

"Yeah, sad."

EOEOEOEOEOEO

"I thought I heard you come in," Kathy said as she turned around with a sleeping baby in her arms, "I was just going to lay him down, but I think maybe he needs some time with his Daddy." She said with a small smile.

"Thanks," Elliot said taking the baby from Kathy's arms, "He's so big already."

"I know. He's really good, Elliot. I mean he hardly ever cries."

Elliot smiled, "Well one out of five isn't bad."

Kathy laughed, "So um…are you going to be staying here? Or…" She looked at Elliot who looked so confused, "It's just…you don't have your apartment anymore…and the baby--I just…"

It hadn't even occurred to Elliot where he would be staying. He stared at his wife, and then his baby, "I ah…I don't know, Kathy. I hadn't really thought about it."

Kathy sighed, "Okay, well I just wanted you to know that it is an option."

"Thanks." Elliot said not taking his eyes off of Eli.

"Okay, well…I give you boys some time alone."

EOEOEOEOEOEOE

"Why didn't you tell me?" Porter asked when Bernard left and they were finally settled in their new 'home'.

Olivia was lying on the couch with her broken foot perched up on a couple of pillows. She was missing Elliot terribly and the last person she wanted to talk about with was Porter, "I don't know, none of your business I guess."

Porter nodded, "None of my business? Olivia! We were together!"

God, she really didn't want to do this now, "Come on, Dean. Let's not do this now."

But it was too late, Porter was already fuming, "No, we will do this now! You should have told me, Olivia!"

"Why, exactly?"

"Because!" He said as he stormed around the living room. He finally took a deep breath and tried to get a handle on this, "How long?"

"How long what?" Olivia asked wishing that she would have left with Elliot.

"How long have you been screwing your partner? This whole time? Huh? Were we still together?"

Olivia took a deep breath, "No, Porter. After us, okay?"

"He's married you know! And do I even have to mention what this will do to your careers?"

"I'm not having this conversation with you." She said, as she pulled her leg off of the couch and hopped her way to her bedroom.

"Just great, Liv! Walk away like you always do!" He screamed at her and she slammed the door in his face.

She climbed on her bed and cried. She was having another breakdown, only this time Elliot wasn't there to help her out of it. She had never wanted to go home so badly.


	17. Chapter 17

**a/n: yes, i realize i have been slacking on my updates...no excuses, play like a champion...**

Chapter 17

4 months later…

"Feel good to finally get that cast off?" Porter asked Liv as he helped her into the house.

"God, you have no idea," she said with a refreshing smile as she limped into the house.

"Doctor Henley said it was healing nice." She gave him a smile but didn't reply, "It sure did take a long time though. I mean 4 hours for a routine procedure?" He said, not noticing the terrified look Olivia shot him.

"Uh, yeah…I guess," she said and quickly walked towards the living room; hoping to avoid any comments about the visit.

"Can I get you anything?" He asked as he watched her take a seat on the couch.

"Um, maybe a cup of tea?"

"You got it." He said and disappeared to the kitchen.

She let out a sigh of relief, God he was always there! She could never get any peace! She hated pretending like everything was fine, when it clearly wasn't. She wanted to call Elliot…no she wanted to see Elliot. He was probably pissed that she had not called him, not once. Not by lack of trying though. Porter had found the cell and went off on her for 3 hours about how stupid that was. About how not only was it putting her life in jeopardy but his as well; not to mention Elliot's family. That is what did it. The thought of her putting Elliot's family in jeopardy made her sick to her stomach.

By the time Porter had the tea ready Olivia was already asleep on the couch. He smiled as he watched her sleep, but it worried him just the same. She had been doing that a lot lately-- sleeping. It was as if she was exhausted 24 hours a day. He knew that she was depressed, and he felt bad that there was nothing he could do for her. He wanted to smack the shit out of Elliot. He was the cause of, and solution too Olivia's depression.

Porter had really been trying to get on her good side once again. Everyday he spent with her he tried to get her to open up, even if it meant that she talk about Elliot. She wouldn't open up though; not even a word. He soon realized the topic of Elliot Stabler was not to be mentioned.

As Porter watched her sleep he knew that she had never fully committed to him. That she had always belonged to someone else. That perhaps when they were together it was just a hypothetical. She never had any real plans for their future, and her heart was never truly his, because it was already taken. She was a taken woman, even when she wasn't.

He carefully placed a blanket over her as his cell phone rang scaring the hell out of him. He quickly answered it as he ran out of the room hoping it didn't wake Olivia, "Porter."

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia stirred as she began to wake up. It took her a moment to realize that she was on the couch. She then sighed knowing that it had all been a dream. She was still here, stuck with Porter. She felt bad for the guy, she really did. She has been nothing but moody and awful the past few months.

Her thoughts went back to the Doctors' appointment and what he had told her; nothing that she hadn't already suspected, but she guessed it was still good to know for sure. She looked down at her leg; it felt so free; no longer being held down with a 20 pound cast. The scars were hideous, and she couldn't get over how pale her leg was. However she smiled because she knew that she was going to be fine. A little bit of rehab and her leg will be 100 percent. She had spent nights fearing the worst; that she would be sitting desk for the rest of her career. She cried when Dr. Henley told her the good news.

"Hey," she heard Dean say in a soft voice.

She opened her eyes and sat up, "Hey. I can't believe I slept that long. Is it really 7?"

Dean smiled, "Yeah. Don't worry. I ordered a pizza, should be here any minute. Also--I have some good news." He said with a huge smile on his face.

"What?" She asked as her eyes began to dilate.

"They're close Liv…really fucking close! They're going to nail this guy."

Olivia jerked up, "What? Seriously?"

Dean laughed, "Seriously. It should only be a matter of days."

Olivia practically jumped on top of him and gave him the biggest hug she could muster up. She couldn't believe it. It was the best news she had heard all day…okay the second best news she had heard all day…

EOEOEOEO

"We think we got him, Cap," Munch said as he started to gather his things, "I just got off the phone with Agent Bernard apparently some guy picked up a hitchhiker on the 90 near Rapid City, South Dakota. After several hours the hitchhiker falls asleep, the driver notices blood soaking through his shirt. The guy drives to the nearest hospital and drops him off." He looked at his Captain and could see a little light of hope shinning through his wide eyes, "I take off in 2 hours. I'll call you when I get there." He said and walked out of the precinct.

Cragen for the first time in months had a smile across his face. He picked up the phone that was on the desk that had not been used for far too long. He thought about Olivia as he placed her phone in his hands and hoped he would get to see her soon, "Elliot. It's Don. We got some good news."

EOEOEOEOEO

Porter knocked on Olivia's door with a loud bang, "Olivia!" He said sternly. He was pissed, no, he was furious. How could he not tell her? He was so angry that she didn't tell him he felt like his head was going to explode; but, if he wanted to be honest with himself he knew that that wasn't the reason he was so pissed.

"What?" She said as she flew open the door, not having the slightest clue as to why Porter was banging angrily on her bedroom door.

Porter just sighed as he took in the sight of Olivia. God, he was such an idiot! How did he not notice? It was completely obvious! She was wearing a white tank that just skimmed the hem of her navy blue shorts. He thought about the past month and how he had seen her clad in only a sweats. Now he finally understood, as there was just the tiniest bit of a bump on the front of her stomach.

"What?" She said again; as she crossed her arms over her stomach; all of a sudden aware of her attire. He looked at her, and she looked at him, and that was all it took.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he said softly, his anger diminishing as he looked into her deep dark chocolate eyes. She looked so tired, so confused, and so completely dejected that he knew he couldn't be mad at her; after all this wasn't about him, it was about her. God he was such a jerk!

Olivia sighed, "I just found out today…" _Officially,_ she thought; even though she had known for months.

Porter was silent for a minute as he stared at her bump. His heart broke yet again, "Is it--"

"Elliot's?" She asked and he nodded, "Yes."

Porter held on to the doorframe in an attempt not to fall over, "Wow. Okay, well if there is anything you need, don't be afraid to ask, okay?"

"Thanks, Dean." Olivia said as she placed her hand on his, "It means a lot."

"Okay, well…I'll let you be." He closed the door and went to his bedroom to lie down. He ran his hand over his face in disbelief. The woman he was in love with was pregnant…with another man's child.

EOEOEOEOEO

"I can't believe this!" Olivia yelped as she held on to Porters hand. This smile on her face was ear to ear. They were finally going home. White had been found, and was currently fighting for his no good life in a small hospital in South Dakota. She hoped that Elliot would meet them at the airport. She still had yet to talk to him, and she hoped that he was as excited to see her, as she was to see him.

Dean looked over at her and squeezed her hand. He smiled as he thought about how much he was going to miss her once they got back to New York. It had taken two weeks to clear everything and get the okay to go home. Those two weeks though, Dean would not have traded for anything in the world. The Olivia he had fallen in love with came back to life. Sure it was probably just because she was happy to be going home, but he didn't care.

They played cards, watched movies and talked; really talked, about everything. He had never been so in love with her then he was now. Having her talk about being a mom was the sexiest thing he had ever heard. She had so many fears about it because of her own mother, but he just kept reassuring her that she was going to be terrific.

He even took her shopping for maternity clothes. It was as if they were becoming good friends again, and he loved every second of it.

"You know, Dean. I'm really going to miss you. Despite the situation I have had a lot of fun…well the past two weeks that is," she said with a smile and nudged him in the arm.

"It meant a lot to me too, Liv."

"You going back to D.C.?" She asked curious as to where his next assignment would be.

Dean smiled, "Actually, I'm going to be staying in New York for a little while."

Olivia's eyes widened, "Really?"

"Yup. I'm going to be overseeing one of the branches. It's in a little bit of turmoil and they need someone to straighten things out."

"That's great!" She said with a smile, "I would have missed you."

"Really?" Dean asked surprised.

"Really."

EOEOEOEOEOEO

When they stepped off the plane Olivia's eyes searched the crowd like a hawk. Each passing second causing her heart to skip a beat; he wasn't there. Was he mad at her for not calling? Surly he had to understand right?

"Olivia!" She heard someone shout out amongst the hundreds of people. She quickly scanned the area.

"Captain!" She said with a smile; hoping he didn't notice the disappointment in her face, "It's so good to see you." She said as he pulled her into a hug.

"We've missed you so much." He said as he patted her back, "Here let me get your bags," He said as he took her luggage, "We gotta hurry, I told everyone I would have you at the station 10 minutes ago," He said as he turned and started walking, Olivia and Porter on his heels.

"Everyone's at the station?" She asked wondering if that was where Elliot was.

"Yup, your Welcome Back Party, Benson."

Olivia smiled, it was nice that her coworkers would do something so special for her. She couldn't wait to get there, and to see Elliot.

EOEOEOEOEO

Once again Olivia felt her heart drop. She scanned the precinct and there was not one sign that Elliot was there. What the fuck? Where was Elliot? She thought. She gave everyone hugs, and her and Dean shared stories, she ate a piece of cake; but her patients was running low. Where the fuck was he?

She finally couldn't take it anymore and asked the first person she saw as she made her way back from the bathroom, "Hey Lake, do you know where Elliot is?" She asked trying not to sound too pathetic.

Lake smiled, "Oh yeah, Eli broke a fever last night, him and his wife were at the hospital all night."

Olivia frowned, "Oh," she said softly, "The baby okay?"

"Yeah, poor little guy. Stabler said it was a fluke that he went into the baby's room anyway. Said that he just shot out of bed and ran into the nursery. Eli wasn't even crying, but he had a 103 temp. So, he and Kath rushed him to the hospital. They might be home now. Why don't you call his house?"

Olivia stood there a little confused. Wife? House? Did Elliot move back in with Kathy? No, he couldn't have…could he? She quickly walked away to find Munch. If anyone would know it would be Munch.

She could feel her hormones going AWOL with each step she took. Her heart began to race as her mind though of every horrible thing it could imagine, "John!" she hollered when she saw him by there desks.

"Hey Liv, what's up?"

"Uh, Okay…uh…"_ shit_, she didn't know what to say with out sounding, psycho, or pathetic. She decided to just bite the bullet and ask, "Did Elliot move back home?" She finally struggled out.

John looked at her, and she knew immediately what the answer was. Her face must have said it all because Munch quickly defended his friend, "Just because he needed a place to stay."

Olivia quickly held back the tears that were filling her eyes making it impossible to see straight, "Right." she said and walked away towards the cribs.

Porter witnessing all of this quickly followed her. He swore to God that when he got his hands on Stabler he was going to kill him; just fucking murder him.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

"…and I don't even have a place to stay," she sobbed, "I just thought we would live together." Olivia had her head on Dean's shoulder as she cried her pregnant heart out, "God, I'm so stupid."

Dean rubbed her back softly, "You're not stupid, Olivia. _He's_ stupid; Elliot is stupid!"

Olivia ran her hands over her tear stained face, "What am I going to do Dean? I don't even have a place to stay."

Dean smiled, "See that I can help you with. You stay with me," you could see the look of fear on Olivia's face from a mile away, it made Dean smile, because that was the Olivia he knew and fell in love with, "Well you sure is hell can't stay in the crib. Come on, the feds set me up with a sublet. Besides it will just be until you find a new place."

The thought of having to search for a new apartment was more than Olivia could bear. She'd have to make sure it had two bedrooms, one for her and one for her poor bastard child. Oh God, she was a wreck. Her shoulders shook violently in Dean's arms as she tried to imagine raising Elliot's child, with out Elliot.

"I can't believe he didn't even come. I mean he at least owed you that. What a fucking coward."

His words didn't help soothe her; they just made her cry harder. She was devastated and she didn't know what to do. She was thankful when she heard on a knock on the crib door and Casey's voice on the other end.

Dean left her side to open the door. He whispered something to Casey and walked out of the crib, "Liv? Honey, what's wrong?" Casey said as she quickly made her way over to the cot.

"Everything," she sobbed out as her friend took her into her arms, "everything."

EOEOEOEOEO

He ran as fast as he could from the parking lot to the station house. He took the stairs not even wanting to deal with the wait for the elevator. He didn't have time to stand around; he had to keep moving, moving until he saw her.

He had been stuck on the Brooklyn Bridge for the past 2 and half hours. He was livid that he missed her homecoming; even more livid that his cell battery had died. He _was_ at the airport. He had even arrived on time. He was ready for her to get off the plane with a dozen roses in his hand. However, she never got off the plane. She had never come. His heart broke when he realized that maybe she wasn't coming home. Maybe something had happened and she would not be returning to him today. His heart sank.

He then however, decided to call the station house from a payphone and see if she got on another flight or something. Of course it turned out that he was at the wrong airport. She was flying into JFK, he was at La Guardia. He had never been so happy about his idiocy; however it didn't take him long to become infuriated with himself when he realized he wasn't going to get to see her before she got to the precinct.

He was also furious because he couldn't find the car charger to his phone. He cursed himself for forgetting to charge it the previous night. Getting caught on the Brooklyn Bridge was just the icing on the cake.

EOEOEOEOEO

"Where is she?" He panted as he entered the room. All eyes immediately turned to stare at him.

Cragen walked up to him and patted his shoulder, "You just missed her."

"Goddamnit!" He roared, "Where is she?" All eyes looked away, no one wanted to be the bearer of the bad news, "Cap, where did she go?"

"She left with Porter, that's all I know." Cragen replied.

"Son of a bitch," he said under his breath, "give me his number."

"She seemed pretty upset…" Lake said.

Elliot walked over to him and stared him down, "Give me his number."

"He's subletting a place on 5th." Munch said walking over to them before Elliot broke the bloke in half. He handed Elliot a piece of paper with his address on it and offered him a small smile. He leaned in so that only Elliot could here, "she thinks you got back together with, Kathy. At least that is what Casey told me."

"Fuck," Elliot said under his breath, he grabbed his cell phone charger and was gone.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

"Olivia! Olivia!" Elliot shouted as he banged on Porter's door. "Porter, open up!"

Porter opened the door in a huff, "Could you keep your voice down! For Christ sake!"

Out of breath from running up the five flights of stairs, Elliot leaned against the door frame and grasped for air, "Please, just tell me: is she here?"

"She was, but Casey came to pick her up a couple of minutes ago. She--" But Porter didn't finish because Elliot was already gone.

EOEOEOEOEO

He sat outside Casey's door for 2 hours and 14…no, 15 minutes. He had called Casey about 12 times but it went straight to her voicemail each time. Fuck it, he would wait out here for a month if that is what it took. How could Olivia think that he would go back to Kathy? Is that what everyone in the office thought? Of course they did, he was living with her…

He really needs to talk to Olivia. God, she must think he is the biggest asshole in the entire world. First he didn't show up at the airport, then the party, and then she heard that he got back together with Kathy! He pulled out his cell again and called Munch.

"Tell me you're with Casey and Olivia."

"I'm with Casey and Olivia."

"You are!?" Elliot exclaimed.

"No."

"God damnit, Munch! Do you know where they are?" and just as he spoke those words he saw Olivia pull up to the curb in a cab, "never mind," he told Munch and hung up the phone.

She looked gorgeous, breathtaking. He didn't know if it was because he hadn't seen her in awhile, or if-- _Jesus, was she always this beautiful?_ She was stunning, she was glowing, and she was smiling…until she saw him.

She couldn't look him in the eyes, and she tried to dodge passed him, "Stay away from me you son of a bitch," she hollered as she walked up to the door.

"Olivia! Wait!" Elliot called after her, following her up the stairs and to the door, "Just let me explain, please just let me explain," he begged.

"Explain what?! That you forgot about me the second you left me? That everything you said to me was just a lie!" She was crying now and she hated herself for it. She promised herself she wasn't going to cry; fucking hormones, "Explain that you moved in with your _WIFE_ the second you got back to New York! Explain that everything you told me was a lie! That you never loved me! That--"

"Stop! Olivia, just stop. I'm not back together with Kathy, I'm not." He paused to see if she was listening, she was so he continued, "Everything I said wasn't a lie, Liv. I love you, how could you think that I didn't?"

"Where were you? You didn't even have the audacity to show up to my 'Welcome Back' party!"

"I tried, Liv! I tried!" He grabbed her arm, "I messed up." He took a deep breath, now that he had her full attention he had to get this just right, "I went to La Guardia," He rubbed his hands over his face, "Liv, I went to fucking La Guardia instead of JFK…I stood there, waiting for you--and you never came, and I thought I had lost you again…" He placed his hands on his hips, "By the time I figured it out I sped to the precinct, Liv. I ran! I freaking ran! Of course you weren't there…so I went to Porters--"

"You went to Porter's?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, and then I came here, and I have been waiting here now for," he looked at his watch, "2 hours and 26 minutes."

"You're living with, Kathy."

Elliot put up his hand, "No, I'm temporary staying with my kids. I'm living in the basement, Liv."

She looked up at him with those doe eyes that drew him to her, "Why?"

A dazzling smile appeared on his face, "Trust me?"

"I don't know why I should," she huffed. They both caught each others eyes and she smiled, and he knew. Of course she trusted him, with her life she trusted him.

He held out his hand, "Follow me."

She didn't take it right away, and in those 3 seconds that she hesitated; Elliot's heart froze and his chest fell to the floor. His eyes, for the first time looked down at the cement and not at her. He thought he was going to lose her, and he just got her back; but then he felt it, her palm in his.

EOEOEOEOEO

"Where are we going, Elliot?" She asked him as they walked. They had been walking for 15 minutes, in silence, and she was getting more nervous with each step.

He pulled her hand up to his lips and kissed it, "You said you trusted me."

Olivia smiled, "I do trust you, but my leg is killing me. Can we please take a cab?"

Elliot stopped and all the color dropped from his face, "Oh my God! Liv, you must think I'm a complete jackass! I totally forgot about your leg! The cast is off! How does it feel? Are you okay? Does it hurt?"

Olivia couldn't help but laugh, "Elliot, relax. My leg is okay, I'm just not back to par yet." She said, and she wasn't lying. Although the real reason she had to stop walking wasn't so much because of her leg, but her swelling belly, which he has yet to notice…

EOEOEOEO

A ten minute cab ride later and Elliot told the cabbie to pull over. "You really thought we were going to walk all this way?" Olivia teased as she tried to get out of the cab as gracefully as she could. Thankfully Elliot was too busy paying the guy to notice her.

"You ready?" He asked as he took her hand.

"Ready for what? Where the hell are we, Elliot? Queens? You took me to _fucking_ Queens? Please tell me you are not taking me to yours and Kathy's house, because I swear to God, Elliot--"

Elliot placed his finger to Olivia's lips, "Relax, would you?" He said as he took a step closer to her closing the gap between them.

The contact from his finger on her lips sent her body through the loop. She wondered if he felt it too…and he had. Because his face was so close to hers she thought she might burst, "You believe me, Liv, don't you? That everyday you were gone, I thought about you, and wished for you to return? That I couldn't even sleep for days at a time, and the kids made me go see a shrink and Jesus Liv…."

But she cut him off with her lips, crashing them dramatically on his. He opened his mouth to hers instantly and allowed her tongue to take complete control. Her hands ran up his chest, but she flinched when she felt his hands run up her sides. She quickly broke the kiss and smiled nervously at him.

"I can't believe you went to La Guardia, you really are a jackass. Now tell me where the hell we are."

Elliot looked at the house in front of them. It was a two story house with white siding and royal blue trimming. There was a brand new wrap around porch attached, that was only half painted. Elliot walked them closer to the house, "It needed a lot of work," he said as he looked over at Liv, who was in awe. "It needed all new plumbing, electrical and duct work. My brother James is pretty good with his hands, he's been helping me. It's pretty much done…just a few minor things," he smiled and pointed to the porch.

"This is yours? You bought this house?" She asked looking at him with wide eyes.

Elliot grabbed her hands and kissed them, "Ours…if you want?"

"What?"

Elliot laughed, for a Detective she could play pretty dumb sometimes, "Want to see inside?" He asked taking her hand and walking towards the door.

"Elliot, wait." She said pulling back, "You're really not back together with, Kathy?"

He took his hand and lifted her chin up, so he could look into her beautiful eyes, "No, definitely not. Olivia--I love you, I have for a long time now. Damnit, I bought a house for us! I want to live with you, I want to marry you…Christ, Liv…I want you to carry my child! I want a little super baby Benson running around here! Do you know how many nights I would pass out here?" he couldn't help but laugh, "after working all day, I would come here to fix this or that…and I would think…'I have to get this done before she comes home.' I would work even harder, work faster…and then…I would just stop because I didn't know when you were coming home…if ever…and that thought…Jesus, Liv…it literally killed me."

She pulled Elliot into her and kissed him deeply, "I missed you so much, El. God, I missed you so much." She said as she continued to kiss him deeply on the mouth, "did you really mean all that, El? I mean, do you really see us…you know…married…with…um children?"

Elliot smiled and tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear, "white haired, with little grandkids running around." He took her hand and led her towards the front door, "Come on, I want to show you the inside."

He turned to move, but his hand jerked back. Realizing that she wasn't following Elliot frowned, "are you okay? Did I say too much? Shit Liv, I didn't mean to scare you…" Damnit, he probably scared her. He knew how commitment phobed she was, why did he have to say all that stuff? He was such a jackass.

She waved her hand in front of her face, "no…no…you're wonderful," and here came the tears again, "this is all so wonderful," she said as she gestured towards the house, "I can't believe you did all this."

"I would do anything for you, Liv." He said as he roped his hands around her and pulled her into a giant hug. He smelled her hair and smiled, "I'm so glad you're home. I missed you so much," he kissed the top her head, "God, Liv. You have no idea how much I missed you."

Olivia held onto Elliot like she was never going to let him go, and that was just fine with him. Her arms were wrapped so tight around him he almost couldn't breathe. He felt her lips press against his neck and her warm breath on his ear, "I missed you so much too." She brought her head back so she could look into his eyes before she pressed her lips to his. She let her lips just press against his before she broke them apart with her tongue and deepens the kiss.

Elliot pulled back and just stared at her. He didn't know what exactly it was, but something was different about her, he pressed his lips to her forehead and grabbed her hand, "come on," he said and they walked towards the door.


	19. Chapter 19

**a/n: i have had 3 hours of sleep in the past three days...apparently that makes my muse happy...anyways, i hope this isn't a bunch of jargon!! **

CHAPTER 19

Cragen smiled as he sat at his desk; from the moment he saw Olivia he knew that she was pregnant. He had always had a knack for things like that. Not to mention that Olivia was wearing a baggy sweater, in all his years that he had known her, he had never, ever seen her wear something that didn't hug every curve of her body. He looked out his door and saw Dean enter the squad room. He smiled and quickly called him into his office.

Don chatted to the younger man about this and that, trying to get some details on what was up with him and Olivia. Clearly he had knocked her up; he was absolutely positive that Liv was pregnant.

"So, um…Olivia looks good. She seems to be…glowing," He said hoping Dean would take the bait.

Dean couldn't help but smile, "Yeah, she's great."

Don looked intently at the man wondering if he should press him. He had too, he had to know, it was killing him. He decided to just bite the bullet, "Look, Dean…I uh…she's pregnant isn't she?"

Dean's eyes grew wide and he practically choked on his own salvia, "Uh…um…did she tell you?"

Cragen laughed, "No, but it is written all over her face." Dean smiled, and Cragen continued, "I'm so happy for her, so happy for you," he corrected, "I mean you did it! You got her back! Why aren't you guys gloating all around town about it? You don't have to keep it a secret, it's not like you guys are partners or anything."

Dean's chest hit the floor. Holy fuck, Cragen thought that he had knocked up Olivia. He didn't know what to say. He wanted to correct him, but he couldn't do that to Olivia. He would be putting her and Elliot's job in jeopardy. Ok, well if it was just Elliot's job in jeopardy he would consider it, but he definitely couldn't do that to Olivia. A hundred and two thoughts ran through his mind. While he was thinking of how to correct this situation, Cragen thought that his silence was confirming it.

"Look, if you guys aren't ready to tell people, I understand that…I guess. But I just wanted to say congratulations."

Dean opened his mouth to speak, to say something, what? Well, he wasn't sure, but he knew he had to say _something_; however, Don's phone rang and it seemed to be about something pretty serious. Dean smiled at Don, and let himself out of the office. He had to get in touch with Olivia, and fast.

EOEOEOEOEO

"Oh my God, Elliot. This is beautiful! I can't believe you did all this work. It's just gorgeous!" Olivia beamed as Elliot gave her the tour of the house.

Elliot smiled and grabbed her hand leading her down the hallway to the room next to theirs. The door was closed and Elliot hoped that Olivia would love what he did with it, "And this next room…well let's just say I wasn't sure if I should do it or not, but-" He said with a small smile, "Well, let's just say my guy instinct was correct." And with that he opened up the door.

Olivia gasped, and she drew her hands up to her mouth. She had no words, but a lot of tears. She grabbed Elliot's hands and pulled him into her, "It's beautiful, Elliot! Just how I would have imagined it."

The walls were painted in a soft yellow, which matched the little duck border that ran around the room. There was a beautiful white oak crib and matching changing table. The nursery was the most wonderful gift she had ever seen in her entire life. She thought about it for a minute, and then she got it. It wasn't for their baby, Elliot didn't even know about it. This was Eli's room. She felt a twinge pull at her heart, but she recovered quickly. Her nerves began to make her stomach ache, and she loosened her grip on Elliot. He probably thought she was a nut case, crying over a room for a baby that wasn't even hers.

"Eli's going to love it," she managed to choke out.

Elliot quickly pulled away from her so he could look deep into her eyes, "Well he did help me pick out the colors, but Liv, this isn't Eli's room. His is down the hall," he looked deeply into her eyes, "This is for our baby." And he slowly and nervously placed his hand onto Olivia's growing belly, "For this baby," he whispered, and felt his eyes get teary.

Olivia gasped again, "You know?"

Elliot laughed, "If there is one thing I know, Olivia, its pregnant ladies."

Olivia smiled, "When did you find out?"

Elliot kissed her hands and placed his hands back on her belly, "Well, when I first saw you, I didn't know right away. I just kept thinking about how fucking gorgeous you looked. I knew there was something different though, you had this…glow. This, I'm going to be a mommy glow, and I just knew…and Liv, I just…God, I couldn't be happier."

Olivia kissed him softly on the lips, "When did you decide to make a nursery?"

Elliot smiled and looked up at the ceiling, as he put into words how he just knew, "A month after I got home I had this dream that you were pregnant, and we were so happy together, and everything was just perfect…of course I woke up from it, and realized it was all a dream, and that you still weren't home. But, I don't know, Liv…it's like I knew it was a dream, but it just felt so real, you know? I don't know, I can't really describe it I guess."

He wiped the tears that were falling from her eyes, and kissed her deeply on the mouth, "I'm so glad you're home, Olivia. God, I just missed you so much."

"I missed you so much to."

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"I love how that the only furniture in this house is the bed. Which, wonderful choice by the way." Olivia said as she patted the pillow top mattress. It was the largest bed she had ever seen, could easily sleep eight people, she thought. She then smiled at the number. 8, exactly the number of people in their family.

"Hey, I ordered everything together, don't ask me why the bed was the first thing to arrive, however I'm not going to argue." He said as he put the new sheets on the bed. "They told me the stuff wasn't going to come until tomorrow, however the bed arrived two days ago. It's almost as if they were trying to me something. Actually, the baby furniture was the first to arrive. Came three days ago."

"I can't believe you did all this," she said as she helped him make up the bed.

"I'll do anything for you, Liv."

"And I for you." She said with a smile, "We're going to have a lot of things to figure out though, El. I mean, Cragen is…shit, he's going to kill us."

Elliot laughed, "Yeah probably. That was always the one thing I didn't know how to get around. I don't want to lose you as my partner, Liv."

"Me either." She said as they finally finished making the bed, and they both fell onto the bed.

He rolled over to her, so that he could softly kiss her lips, "We'll figure something out. We always do."

Olivia smiled, "Yeah, we do, don't we?"

The laid on their sides and stared into each other's eyes, "I've missed you so much," he whispered.

"I thought about you everyday, all day." She confessed. She placed her lips onto his and swiped her tongue over his lip, "I missed the way you smell, the way you taste," she said placing small kisses on his lips, and down his neck.

Elliot groaned, already feeling his member beginning to harden, "I'm so in love with you, Olivia, I just…fixing up this house was the only thing to help me through not being with you. I just knew that if I got this house, that you would come back and make it a home. It feels like home already, doesn't it?"

"Yes," she whispered as she ran her hand along his shoulder blade and down his back. Her body quickly responded to the way they were touching, and she didn't realize how bad she had needed him…like needed, needed him, "Make love to me, Elliot," she said softly.

He cupped her jaw and pulled his lips to hers, "Forever and always."

Her pregnancy hormones were out of control, she quickly found herself tearing off his clothes, and practically jumping on him. He too, worked just as quickly, although a little bit more careful with her, not wanting to harm the baby in anyway. When he had her shirt off, he almost cried at the site of her swelling belly. He had never seen anything more beautiful in his life. And that was the plain truth; he had never felt this way when Kathy was pregnant. Not that he didn't think her pregnant body was beautiful, because he did…it was just that with Olivia, his love for her was pure, true, and that had made all the difference.

EOEOEOEO

"What are you doing, Mom?" Maureen asked as she walked into the Eli's room.

Kathy had a bunch of suitcases out and was placing Eli's clothes in them.

Kathy looked over at Maur and smiled, "Just getting some things ready for you father's house."

"Wow Mom, you're really handling this well."

Kathy sighed, "I'm sure going to miss this little guy, not seeing him everyday just might kill me…but it's for the best. Little man needs his Daddy, too. Besides it's not like he's going far, just a quick walk, isn't that right?" She said as she picked up Eli and placed a kiss on his head.

"You know that Olivia is back, don't you?"

Kathy smiled, "Yes, Maur. You know, it's not like your father and I don't talk. We have actually become friends. Kind of weird isn't it?"

Maureen just smiled, "A little. So you're really okay with Daddy living with Liv?"

Kathy took a deep breath, "He's happy, you know. I love your father very much, but it's not like it used to be, and to be honest I don't know if it was ever like the way your father loves her. I want to hate her Mo, I do…but I just can't. She's really good for him."

Maureen walked closer to her mother and gave her a hug, "I think you're the strongest person I have ever met."

Kathy smiled, "Thanks, sweetie. I guess all those therapy sessions are really paying off, huh?"

Maureen laughed, "Yeah, I guess you could say you're getting your money's worth." She kissed Eli on the head, "So, how is this going to work? I mean Daddy has crazy hours, it's not like Eli goes to a 24 hour daycare center, is he going to change his schedule or something?"

"Not exactly. Your father is going to get him Thursday to Sunday, that way he can spend all day with him on the weekends. Cragen told him that he will have regular 9-5 hours on Thursday and Fridays, and I changed my schedule so that I have off on Mondays and Tuesdays, so I can spend the whole day with him too," she smiled thinking about how civil she and Elliot had been while figuring out the custody of Eli, "Besides, it's not like he doesn't have four older siblings to help out if we get into a jam."

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia moaned as she felt Elliot move inside of her. It was amazing how her body responded to him. It was as if she was built strictly for him, and perhaps maybe she was.

"I love you so much," Elliot gasped as he felt her body around him. Being inside of her was absolutely amazing; he never wanted to come out. Their bodies were connected just as much as their souls were. The bond that they shared was priceless, and they both knew how lucky they were to have each other.

Both their bodies were covered in sweat, and being that it had been so long since the last time, they didn't have time for foreplay. They headed straight to the main course, and never looked back. He thrust his hips into her and she held onto him for dear life. She wiggled her hips and began to pant his name. Her body was so close and they had just started. But none of that mattered, because once they were done, they could do it again, and again, and again. The thought of making love to him everyday almost made her come immediately, but Elliot had pulled out, causing her to cry out.

"Please, El…what are you doing?" She begged.

"I just wanted to look at you, for a minute," He said as he glanced over her naked body, "I'm so happy, Olivia. You make me so happy, and if it's okay, one day I'm going to make you my wife."

Olivia couldn't help the tears that slipped through her eyes, "There's no one else's I'd rather be," she said placing kisses on his lips, and trying to get him to lower himself back into her, "I never thought I could love someone as much as I love you."

He pushed himself back into her completely filling her. She tilted her hips up and her orgasm fired through her, causing his body to do the same.

EOEOEOEO

"Elliot?" Olivia cooed as she ran her hand along his chest and he along her belly.

"Yeah?"

"I think Cragen knows I'm pregnant."

Elliot shot up, "What? How?"

"Well, because at my welcome back party he offered me a coffee, and whispered in my ear, 'don't worry it's decafe' I mean don't you think that is kind of strange? When have I ever drunk decaf?"

Elliot shook his head, "Never," he whispered. He paused and thought about it some more, "Yeah, he knows."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

"Dean, what are you doing here?" Olivia asked as she opened the door of her new house.

"I ah…is Elliot here? I think I should talk to the both of you." He said as he walked in the house taking a look around.

"Uh, yeah. He's just getting changed," she said as she felt herself blush. They had just finished having the hottest sex, when they heard the doorbell. She quickly threw on one of Elliot's button downs, and a pair of his boxers.

He looked at her outfit, and then her hair, which was pretty messy, and he knew exactly what he had just walked in on. A small pain hit him in the heart, but he knew he had to get over it.

"Is everything okay?" Olivia asked as fear became present in her eyes. Her hands immediately went to her swollen belly, as if to protect it.

Dean saw this and immediately calmed her fears, "Yeah, yeah. Everything is fine. It's just um…something happened with Cragen."

"What's wrong with, Cragen?" Elliot asked as he walked into the room.

"Uh, nothing…he, just…um--well--"

"He knows I'm pregnant," Olivia finished for him.

"Uh, yeah. How'd you know?"

"Gut instinct I guess." Olivia said with a smile, as she felt Elliot's arms wrap around her.

"There's more…mind if we sit down?" Dean said.

EOEOEOEOEO

"So, Cragen thinks that you knocked Olivia up?" Elliot said shaking his head.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, it just sort of happened, and then he got a call and I wasn't able to correct him."

"Well, you're going to have to tell him." Elliot demanded.

"Or…" Olivia said with a devious smirk on her face.

"Or what?" Dean and Elliot both said at the same time.

"This is a crazy idea, but if Cragen thinks that me and Dean are pregnant, then we can't get in trouble…we won't have to split up." She said looking at Elliot.

"Are you crazy? No way, Olivia. No way. Besides we are not lying to our superior." Elliot said crossing his arms in front of his chest.

Dean on the other hand, thought it was a great idea. He couldn't help the little part inside of him that wished that it was his baby.

"Technically we won't be lying. We just won't say anything. Let him assume whatever he wants--"

"No, absolutely not!" Elliot said again standing his ground.

"Look, I just wanted to tell you before I left. I'm leaving for an assignment overseas, and I won't be back for long time…and if you want Cragen to think that--I mean I didn't even tell him, he came up with it on his own," He shook his head trying to get his words straight, "I'll go along with whatever you want. I just want you to be happy, Olivia."

"You're leaving?" Olivia asked, a little saddened by the news, "when?"

"Tomorrow. You guys could get away with this you know. With me out of the picture, Cragen wouldn't think twice about Elliot stepping in to help you and the baby out, Liv…and you guys would still be able to remain partners--"

Olivia's eyes widened, it was a great idea, she thought. She looked towards Elliot who still didn't look happy about it, "It's my baby--"

"Yes, it is." Olivia stated, "But Cragen doesn't have to know. It's not like he knows anything about our personal lives anyway. Hell, he still thinks you and Kathy are married!"

"True," Elliot said and he stood up and paced back and forth. He was actually considering this.

Dean stood up too, "Okay, well I have a lot of things to do by tomorrow. I just wanted to let you guys know about that. You have my cell number if you need anything." He bent down and placed a kiss on Olivia's cheek, "Take care, Olivia." He turned towards Elliot and held out his hand, which Elliot accepted, "Good Luck."

EOEOEOEOEO

Later that night Olivia and Elliot laid awake it bed, "It's ludicrous!" Elliot wailed.

"But it's also genius, Elliot. It's the only way we will get to be together. This is our lives, Elliot. It's not just some stupid job we can quit or transfer. It doesn't work like that. Trust me I've tried. We work. Besides, it's not just about us; it's about the victims too."

"It's going to blow up in our faces."

"How? We didn't tell Cragen, Dean was the father."

"You think Dean isn't going to come up?"

"No, not if he's leaving. If Don thinks that Dean left me, you think he's going to bring him up to me? Cragen's not like that, he only talks if you talk first, and just as long as we don't bring it up, he won't."

"Well, we don't have to make any decisions now do we?" Elliot said as he wrapped his strong arms around her.

"No, but we do have to figure this out. Even if we don't do this, we need to find a way to tell Cragen." She said as she rolled over so she could stare and the handsome man next to her.

"Let's sleep on it," Elliot said as he placed a small kiss on her lips.

"Sleep? I don't think so, Daddy." Olivia said as she slid her hand down Elliot's boxers.

"Again? Damn woman, you are a machine!" He said as he kissed her hard on the mouth, "and I love you for it."

She stroked him gently feeling him get harder and harder by the second. He wanted to reach out and play with her breasts, but he knew that they were too sore. He ran his hands through her hair as he kissed her down her neck. She immediately felt wet, and quickly pulled off his boxers.

"You're feisty, you know that?" Elliot growled as he ran his hands down her thighs to cup her mound.

"You like it," Olivia growled back.

"No, I love it," Elliot said with a smile as he removed her panties, "I don't know why we bother wearing clothes," he chuckled as he removed her hand from his hard cock and rolled so he was on top of her. He placed kisses down her belly and then between her thighs. He was never one for giving oral, but there was just something about Olivia that made his mouth water just thinking about it. He could count on his one hand the number of times he went down on Kathy, and it just never did anything for him. However, as he placed his tongue through Olivia's folds his cock was so damn hard he had to keep himself together so he wouldn't explode.

"You're so good at that, Elliot" Olivia moaned as she felt his tongue roll around her damp, heated, center.

"You make me good," Elliot said as he lifted his head up to see her face. He buried his face back into her and dabbed his tongue in and out quickly. He then, sucked on her swollen clit until her legs locked around his head and she began to curse.

She came faster then she ever had in her life. She wasn't sure if it was because of Elliot, or if her hormones were out of control because of her pregnancy; whatever it was though, she didn't care, "Fuck me!" She hollered as her legs shook and her hips bounced on the mattress.

"Oh, I intend too." Elliot said with a cocky grin. He placed his mouth on hers so she could taste herself on him.

He pushed himself into her with out warning, causing Olivia to come again, immediately. Her body was still quaking from her last episode, "Elliot, Jesus!" She growled as she placed her hands on his shoulders grabbing on for dear life.

His hips slammed into her, picking up speed with each thrust. He looked down so he could see their conjoining bodies; it was the hottest thing he had ever seen. He began to gasp in pleasure as he watched him enter and reenter her, "We should get a mirror on the ceiling," He said as he lifted his head back to the ceiling. His dick was hard, and he had never felt so good, "Fuck, Liv!" He could feel her walls on him and he didn't know how he was lasting as long as he was. He stretched her body and could feel every fiber of her being. Just thinking about himself being inside of her sent his dick straight up, but actually _being_ inside of her…"Liv! Oh my God, Olivia!" He panted as he picked up his pace.

"Harder, Elliot! Please, God…Fuck…Elliot, harder," She ordered as he pushed inside of her. She knew he was trying to be gentle because of the baby, but her Doctor told her that sex wouldn't kill the baby, so she wanted him to bring it on, "Harder, Elliot," she ordered again.

Elliot knew he didn't have to be so gentle, after all he was the father of five, but he didn't want Olivia to freak out. When she told him harder, he almost came. They weren't going to be making love in a minute, but fucking each other's brain out. They had yet to do this. They made love, had sex, but they hadn't actually fucked, like fuck-fuck. All of that was about to change. He moved his legs up so that he was now on his knees and he placed his hands on the headboard as he got ready to fuck the living daylights out of her.

A smile stretched from ear to ear as she felt him grind harder into her. Neither one of them was capable of words, moaning and grunting was about the only things they could muster out. The bed shook from their violent thrashing, but they didn't seem to notice. Olivia had been seeing stars for the past five minutes and she couldn't believe how long she had been holding out.

She rocked her hips as hard as she could into his body. Their bodies slammed against each other, and she could feel her orgasm building in the pit of her stomach. He used every muscle in his body to pound into her as hard as he could, but she still called out for him to go harder. He moved his hands from the headboard and placed them on her hips, pulling himself deeper into her than he ever thought possible. Her hands gripped his ass as he thrust himself into her harder.

"Fuck! Liv…going to…fuck, going to--"

"Me too," she breathed out as she felt her legs shake, and Elliot groan. He pumped his hips into her a few more times before he erupted like a volcano. Her orgasm seemed to last forever as ripples of pleasure ran through her entire body. Elliot's body shook as he moved inside of her a few more times completely emptying himself in her. When he was done he wrapped his arms around her still convulsing body and kissed her firmly on the lips.

"Are you okay? I didn't hurt you did I?" He asked concerned.

Olivia smiled, "Are you crazy? That was fucking amazing, Elliot." She kissed him again and tried to regulate her breathing, "Fucking amazing!"

He snuggled her up into his arms, "I love you."

"I love you too," she said with a smile and turned her head to kiss him on the lips.

EOEOEOEO

"How are we going to tell your kids?" Olivia asked as she leaned her head into his chest. They were sitting on the back patio on their porch swing enjoying the starry night.

Elliot smiled and placed his arm around her shoulder, "Invite them over for dinner?"

Olivia smiled too, "Yeah that will be nice. Do you think they are going to freak?"

Elliot let out a little chuckle, "Probably. But don't worry, they freaked when they found out about, Eli, too." He said as he placed a kiss on the top of her head, "Apparently I'm too old to be having more kids."

Olivia let out a loud laugh, "You have sperm of steel, Stabler."

Elliot laughed too, "That I do. A lot of things are going to change for us, Liv. A lot of things…But you know what?"

"Hmmm?" She asked in a daze as she stared out at the stars in the dark sky.

"I'm looking forward to every single thing." He turned his head and planted a kiss on her lips, "You're going to make an amazing mother, Olivia."

Olivia looked up at him, "Really? You really think that?" She asked with sparkle in her eyes.

"Absolutely! I've seen you with kids, Liv. You're amazing! Not too mention how you are with my own kids. You have that motherly instinct."

"Thank you, Elliot."

"For what? I'm just telling you the truth."

"It means a lot. I mean…my mother…well, she wasn't the greatest. I guess I always wondered that maybe I wouldn't--"

Elliot placed his finger to her lips, "Don't. Just whatever you are thinking, don't. You are an exceptional human being, Liv. You are going to make a terrific mother."

She placed a soft kiss on his lips, "Thanks, El."

They stared at the night sky in peace. They rocked in the swing and enjoyed the nice night, "I'm really glad that the last owners of the house left this swing," she said.

"Me too. The last owners were an old couple; they lived here for 50 years. The woman said that this was the best house and had treated them wonderfully. They raised five kids in this house. Two from her previous marriage, and two from his, and then they had one together. She said this was a house built for true love."

"She did not," Olivia teased.

Elliot laughed, "I swear! She did!"

"Why did they move?"

"Couldn't take the winters anymore. They moved to Florida. She wasn't going to sell me the house, you know. She had another couple in mind for it, but when I told her about you and our history, well, she pulled out the papers right there, even took some money off of the asking price. She said that what we had… was true love, and that you didn't see that everyday. She said our story was a great one; that our love was just like her and her husbands, even said that you reminded her of herself. She was a religious woman, and told me that she would pray everyday for your safe arrival home."

"She sounds like a wonderful woman."

"She really was. She gave me her new address, told me to keep in touch, send pictures of the remolding that I was doing, and too keep her posted on your homecoming."

"I think you're the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me, Elliot."

Elliot smiled, "I was just going to say the same thing about you."


End file.
